A Lost Hymn

Serphent

This is a chamber about to be broken.
A deep dark serpent out in the open.
Every pause in my breath is a sentence left unsaid,
My brain constantly tells me that it wants me to be dead.
My gasp of air let out from the hot springs below,
I hold my tongue back. I'm not ready to show.
The drawers want to open they beg me to scream
But I keep it all wrapped up and keen.
Why do I feel like I'm gonna vomit
If I keep this up I'll probably move alone with it.
The only monster I haven't released,
Is a beast who lives deep inside my soul ever so deep.
I'm afraid to face you because you are a part of me,
A part of the demon who never saw the fight in me.
The warrior backs down knowing she's not strong enough,
As if I haven't been here this long enough...
I don't know what to do I'm shaking unsteady
The viper bites back mouth open and ready.
A pause in my sentence is a million words unspoken
Ones that leave me feeling shattered, alone, and broken.
If I dare to speak out I run that risk,
It can possibly come out of the darkness of its abyss.
It's blood runs with the blood that was once in my vein, the ones that came out and I was the only blame.
The blood that feel from my wrist into its mouth
Forming that demon with a twisted amount.
It's made of trauma and low self esteem,
The viper that hisses right into my ear.
I can't speak her out I feel it's too scary,
Because the first time I admired it the sword stabbed me right in that minute.
Blood gushed from my heart when I realized in that minute,
That the demon had realized that I'd just admitted it.
She took her arm out of the middle of my chest,
Looked me in the eyes and said "give it a rest."
My depressive state heavy like I've been intoxicated,
Lulled me to sleep and left me mentally constipated.
She's stronger then any demon I've ever known,
Made out of pure hell shes the only unholy ghost in my home.
I ignore her existence as to keep my distance,
Praying she won't escape is a really hard task,
But it never seems to last.
The empty air I release every pause I take,
That's where I made a mistake.
She slithers out and back knowing she's ready,
She's my personal demon,
The one that does not exist.