The scars on my neck...

Chapter XI

I took my time. It was about 4:30 by the time I finished my goodbyes. Legion and I were some of the few people left.

He said he'd drive to the bar, and I'd just follow him. I didn't object, I saw no need to.

The clouds swirled above me as I got into the car, a slight drizzle came from the now-cloudy sky. The cold front has swept through, and fast.

We got to the bar and walked in through the doors.

"Legion!" The bartender said,

"How's it going? who's your friend?"

"Shut up Charles, did no one tell you?" Legion said. I couldn't tell if he was being mean or just joking.

"Tell me what?" He- well, Charles- responded.

"Ryder's... gone... this is Nate. His friend."

"Boyfriend." I interrupted.

"... Oh... Hey, drinks half off okay? In honour of Ryder... a patron, a great man, and... a friend."

I felt like I was going to cry again.

"Thanks..." Legion said.

"What would you like?" Legion said.

I looked back into my mind and started thinking of all the good times.

"Do you have sakē?" I answered. I decided on sakē first, I could remember the good times.

"Yes actually." He poured me a shot and I started sipping it. Legion ordered a beer and sat beside me.

"I remember one time, Ryder had three beers... it was the day we found out he was bi. We dared him to kiss Ash, a girl who used to drink with us. He said 'No! I have a boyfriend!' and we laughed about it, the only one who had a real issue with it was Olivia, but we didn't see her much after that."

"Ah," I responded. I had nothing to say, I was too busy thinking about the sakē in my hand. A flavour I once hated reminded me of him. I sipped it with a sad smile on my face, remembering how deep our love was.

Charles came back and said to me, although I barely heard him:

"Another glass?" I paused for a moment. I felt compelled to ask for hard apple cider.

"Hard Cider... this time."

"Sure thing." He returned with a glass and I sipped it. I still hated alcohol. This one made me think about when things were just starting to get bad, every sip felt like regret. My inaction back then... I truly made him pay for it...

"You know... one time, he admitted to how he felt... his depression... I wished..." Legion was saying something, but I wasn't listening.

I was missing him.

"Something new this time?" Charles said, looking at me carefully.

"Yeah," I subconsciously had already decided next would be whiskey.

"Whiskey please."

"Interesting, sure thing." He brought me a glass of whiskey.

I sipped it and almost started crying. This was the drink I'd had when... He had really hurt me...

Legion's voice no longer reached my ears. I threw back the whiskey, much like I had while trying to forget...

"What'll it be now? Also... you have interesting taste," he commented.

"Vodka. And they mean things..."

"Not judging, here you go" I sipped it slowly. I was really drunk at this point, but it was okay. I wasn't in danger... Even if I was... I really didn't care.

I missed him too much. I finished off the drink then remembered...

Rum was next...

"Rum please..." I said in a low, quiet voice.

"Here...?" I held it in my hand. I couldn't bring myself to drink it.

My hand was shaking a little, the liquid dripped down my hand.

"You gonna drink that?" Legion said, poking me out of my head for just long enough.

"Maybe... This... was the drink that..."

"Oh..." he paused. "Drink it, for him."

I nodded and threw the shot back. As I did, I felt incredibly sick, I threw my head down on the table, and the collar of my jacket revealed the bruises and scars on my neck.

Legion looked over at just the wrong moment.

"Those are new, what happened there?" He gently tapped the mess of injured flesh. I cringed, it didn't hurt but... no one but Ryder should touch there.

"Oh... sorry..." he said.

I gathered my remaining strength and whispered one clear phrase.

"P-Please... Don't ask about

the scars on my neck..."