Dissonance - Book One

twenty-six

"Really? You're just going to sit there slurping your soup?"

He doesn't respond.

"You've got some explaining to do."

Slurp. Slurp.

"How do you know Kelly?"

No response. Now my blood is boiling.

"I'm only going to ask this one more time and if you don't answer me then I'm going to Kelly for answers. How. do. you. know. Kelly?"

The prospect of me going to Kelly, seems to have gotten his attention. He sets his spoon on the table and wipes his mouth on his napkin.

"It doesn't matter," he says, which only irritates me more.

"It matters to me!" I shout and Wyler motions with his hands for me to keep it down.

"How much did Dr. Ivanov tell you?" he asks, knowing that I'll continue to yell if he doesn't start answering my questions.

"You know he's here?! Wait, do you know him?"

"Define know."

"Wyler!"

"Yes, I know him."

"How?"

"I used to...live here."

"You used to live here? How is that possible? Does that mean you're a...mod?"

"Um..."

"Wyler!"

"Yes, an Unwanted Mod, born of the second generation."

"So you're older than me then?" I ask, shaking my head at the realization that this entire time I've known him, I didn't even know his actual age.

"Just a little bit, yes."

"Unbelievable," I let out a heavy sigh as the depth of his deceit rolls through me. "But you have younger siblings. Does that mean one of them is like me?"

"No, they're not like you, because technically they're my half siblings. My mother and father were part of The Alteration Study, but my father never really wanted any part of it to begin with. After the first two attempts failed, he took off. He didn't want anything to do with me, my mom or my older sibling. Since my father was out, we were terminated from the project."

"What do you mean, older sibling? I thought you were the eldest?" My brain is running through the facts I know about Wyler, wondering which are true and which are false. It's crazy how you can think you know someone so well, and really not know them at all.

"I have an older sister who ran away a long time ago. Between that, and my dad leaving, my mom kind of lost her mind. So she latched on to my loser step-father and had my two half siblings. We were barely able to keep food on the table when Dr. Ivanov found me. He offered us a deal."

"A deal? What kind of a deal?"

Now it's Wyler who lets out a sigh. Whatever it is, he's reluctant to tell me.

"Wyler, I deserve to know the truth," my voice softens slightly, hoping to convince him to tell me more.

He pauses and looks at me for a moment before answering, as if he knows everything will change once he tells me the truth. Whatever it is that he hasn't told me, it has the possibility to change things between us. I can see it in his eyes. He knows I'll look at him differently, but it doesn't matter, because I already do.

"He said he would give us a home, a fresh start, and a monthly allowance if I did something."

"Did what?"

"Ever, none of this matters." He looks serious now as he reaches across the table for my hand, but I pull away.

"Wyler, what did he ask you to do?" I say sternly.

He looks away, clearly not wanting to answer the question.

"Wyler, tell me," I press him and though he's reluctant to speak, he can tell by the look in my eyes that I mean business. He knows that if he doesn't tell me, then I'll find my answers elsewhere.

"He wanted me to...to keep an eye on you."

"What?" I can't believe what he's saying. "Keep an eye on me?" I shake my head. None of this makes any sense and as I try to process it, years of our friendship flash before my eyes.

"So all those days I thought you were slaving away at work, did you actually have an after-school job or was that a lie too?"

"I was working, just not at the job you thought," he replies sheepishly.

"Right, you were working, as in me, I was your job."

Was it all a lie? Was he ever really my friend or was I just a means for him to keep a roof over his head and food on the table? Does he actually have feelings for me or is that just part of the act too?

"Ever, it's not that simple," he tries to explain, but I cut him off. I don't want to hear any more of his excuses or explanations, none of it changes the outcome.

"No, I think it is. I think I understand pretty clearly now. I'm just a job to you. A means of income." I back up, ready to walk away, because I can't bring myself to hear his reply. I can't bear to sit in front of him any longer.

"Ever, I..."

"I don't want to hear it! It's all a lie! This has all been a lie!"

"What has?" He looks hurt and confused.

"Us!" I can feel the rage growing inside of me, but it's not actual anger, it's just a defense mechanism to mask my pain: the pain over the realization that one of the most important relationships in my life isn't what I thought it was at all. I move to leave, but Wyler stands quickly and grabs my arm.

"Ever, don't go. Let me explain."

"Explain what? That you helping me in the hall that day we first met wasn't an accident. That every moment we've spent together is now clouded by the fact that I was a job, not a friend. That I betrayed my best friend for someone who was playing games with me!"

"It was never a game and you were never a job, Ever. I mean, maybe at first, but things changed. My feelings are real."

"Don't, just don't." I need to leave. "I can't stand to be near you right now. I don't even know who you are," I say, trying to wound him with my words. "I barely know who I am," I add under my breath.

I pull away and he loosens his grip. Part of me wishes that he wouldn't let me go, that he would prove me wrong, that he would fight for me and tighten his hold, pulling me into his arms and kissing me right there in the cafeteria, right in front of everyone. But the other part of me hates myself for wanting that, for wanting him. I let that part win, as I march out of the room. It's then that I realize, we've made quite a scene. All eyes are on us. Everyone has been listening to our conversation. Everyone, including Lex.