Cut that, school is hell itself.
"Are you alright, kid?"
"Y-Yes, sir. I-I am fine." Do I look alright to you, sir?
"Come on, let's take you to the clinic."
Acting as the poor one always work. Well, maybe not. But Mr. Nakamoto helped me to pick up my things back to my backpack and walk me to the school clinic. My body hurts like hell, to be honest. I am slightly thankful for him, at least.
Students are looking at me, giving me those stares I hate the most. The 'I pity you' stare. But I know behind those are their relief that they're not in my shoes —basics of human nature, basics of ugly truth.
The school nurse in her mid 40s approached me as soon as we arrived by the door and said, "Oh my my my... What have you gotten into?"
Right, Jisung. What have you gotten into?
I've always been the bad boy at school, the bad boy who's still not caught. But every student knows who I am.
They hate me for hating them.
"I'm sorry, Jisung. But... I actually don't like you. My friends just dared me to break your heart because... I don't know, they just hate you. But thank you for liking me. And again, I'm so sorry. I just have to fit into my friends, you know? I'm sure you won't understand. You're okay with people hating you."
God, not that memory, please.
Mr. Nakamoto left me already in the hands of the nurse, saying he has a next class right on the clock. The nurse told me to stay and rest at the clinic for the rest of the day but I insisted to "attend my class". She couldn't do anything anymore, so I did.
I went to my Physics class but the room is empty. No teacher, no classmates. Did I miss it already? Oh well...
My bruises felt painful again. They always do when I am finally alone. I sat at the middle of the room, sitting on one of the chairs. I got out my notebook from my bag and scribed random shapes until I decided to write something down, an actual writing.
I wrote down a hate letter, a total opposite of a love letter, for her. I cannot help it but let the tears fall from my eyes as I pour out every emotion onto the crumpled paper thanks to the fights I keep getting into.
My fingers tremble while I struggle controlling my sobs. It's an embarrassment if someone sees me here, crying, and writing this stupid letter. But no, I just... I have to drain my feelings now or never.
Memories flash in my head as if I'm about to die any moment.
Her smile.
Her laughter.
Her words.
Her knives.
People's hate.
People's lies.
People's shit.
Somehow, I consciously fell asleep from crying too much. I just found out that I did when I wake up three hours after. I think my injured body also sang me to sleep.
I checked the time on my wristwatch; it shows past 8 PM. Mom is probably looking for me now.
I threw my things back to my backpack and immediately went home. It took me two bus rides to get home and God knows how sleepy I am. Plus, my bruises on my cheek and stomach are still there. I just want to get some rest. I'm tired.
"Jisung? Honey? Why are you home late?" I heard mom calling out to me from the kitchen just when I got into the house.
"From a school project, mom!" I answered and quickly ran upstairs to my room.
"Come back down quick, okay? We'll eat dinner! I cooked your favorite tteokbokki!"
Oh, mom.
She's the only one left for me.
I changed into my homewear as fast as I could and applied concealer on the bruise on my cheek. I always have one since I know it's hell outside this house.
I was about to get out of my room when I noticed something unusual on my blue vest I hanged at my wall, the one I just wore at school. What is that? I thought it will be just another hate sticky notes from my fans, but it's a heart sticker saying...
DNYL...
