Good for you

19. "I had all and then most of you, some and now none of you"

"But I know you'd love to be with her again."

"What I want doesn't matter anymore. She told me last night! She made it very clear that she doesn't want anything to do with me."

"How's that? You were kissing at the party. "

"Long story short, she said at the end that she don't want to see me again."

"I'm not smart. If you want her so badly and you want to have something with her sometime in the future, you have to confess everything. I know it's going to ruin both of us, but it's better that way. I can't lie to her face anymore. From the first day, all we do is lie to her. "

"How can I be sure she'll be with me after that?"

"You'll have to try. I can't guarantee you that everything's going to be okay. "

"This doesn't make any sense anymore!"

"Don't overreact."

"Fuck you! Are you listening to me?! She said she didn't want to see me! "

"Well, make sure she likes you again. But before you do, tell her everything. "

"Are you 100% sure it's the right thing to do?"

"It's better if she hears from you than from Felix. It'll ruin your chances. This way maybe there is one. "

Lila at the moment:

The day has passed very quickly and satisfactorily. Chris is a great mentor. And the sight of him is enough to make my day. I never got a chance to think about all the other problems. I have to move on. I don't want to be sad anymore.

I haven't seen or heard from the girls from the party. Have I also done something to them and now they are mad?

"Hey, Carrie! Where are you, are you mad at me? "

"Hey, girl! No, why the hell would I be mad? I'm in an active pursuit of a job! I'm kind of broke. "

"Good luck then! Have you heard from Alex? "

"Not since the party. You both went missing somewhere before the morning sun. She's probably with Diana. "

"Something strange has happened and I want to know where she is. I need to talk to her. "

"What's the matter?"

"Shortly, I got dizzy in front of Niel's apartment and I fell on the floor like a pear. Alex and Diana kept walking home, like they didn't even notice me. I may be exaggerating, but... I don't know. I have a bad feeling. She's mad at me for sure. "

"Damn... I don't know anything, I haven't heard from anyone. I was hungover all day yesterday. "

"Tell me about it. I just finished my work. You want to go for a quick coffee? "

"Always! Give me half an hour and I'll meet you at Red!"

♥

I couldn't wait to tell Carrie all the juicy details from the new job.

"Damn girly girl, you always look so good! I envy your ass!" - Carrie compliments me as soon as she saw me.

"Oh, stop it! So, tell me, where did you disappear to? I have a lot to tell you."

"If you're referring to Harvey's and your make-out session. I already know. I saw you before Niel and I went to get more booze."

"Really? Can hell break loose already! I was so gross, wasn't I? "

"No, actually, you were very sweet. What's up with you two now?"

"I don't remember anything. I remember kissing him and that's it. We talked something after in the morning when I woke up at his house and... "

"Wait, you slept at his place?"

"We didn't sleep together. He was lying on the floor. Nothing happened. Nor will it ever happen again. I told you over the phone that I passed out. Harvey found me and took me to his place. I don't why I passed out so quickly. And why the fuck Alex just went home? She was walking in front of me!"

"Girl, too much information at once."

"Irrelevant, mostly. I got drunk as a cow, I kissed him, I regretted it, something was wrong with him – something I said to him. We talked and decide that nothing will happen with us anymore. "

"Oh shit. Maybe he'll tell Niel something. I'll let you know. "

"Don't! I don't care. That's not why I called you! I want to tell you all about my first day! "

"Spill!"

I told her my impressions and, of course, everything about Chris.

"He sounds like a tasty piece of cake!"

"I feel like he was hitting on me. He's only a year older. He called me baby. I don't know if he calls everyone like that."

"You got to admit, he's a good opportunity to move on.'"

That sentence of hers hits me and I found myself thinking about him in ways I really shouldn't. He's my mentor. It's a violation of all rules. I guess. I never thought I'd like anyone that way on my first day.

"Earth to Lila? You have a chance to move on! First with Mark from the party but that kind of went down the hill and now Chris! Do something about it."

♥

The rest of the day, I mostly talked about how was at work. I didn't imagine myself in a television station, but everyone has to start somewhere.

As for Felix's message – I don't think I should answer him. At least for now. Everything will pass with enough time. I'm going to focus on the better things in my life.

Instead, I played my music, turned on a new empty document on my laptop, and let my thoughts to take the lead.

Harvey at the moment:

I was lying on my bed and I can smell her perfume. One of my favourite songs was playing at the same time. 'The Night We Met ' from Lord Huron. I've never had trouble with a hangover. That's why I was killed by my thoughts. I wanted to tell her so much last night.

"Hey donkey, are you coming?" – Philip called me and I didn't even notice I was already late for rehearsal.

"I'm on my way."

I lied and quickly get dressed. When I got in my car, I realized I was wearing a T-shirt that I gave Lila to wear. I haven't taken it out of the closet for two years. She always wore it when she slept at my place.

Great, I'll feel her scent all day long.

During the whole rehearsal, I led a moral dilemma in my head.

To tell her about everything. Everything Felix threatened me with. Tell her or let him tell her. No matter how I turn, I'm screwed. I don't know how she'd take it.

Honestly, I don't know if she'd want to meet me at all after all.

"You're not doing very well these days." – Edwin said while ripping out the wire of my guitar.

"Oh, dude, we got drunk last night and...."

"Since when do you drink?"

"I've had a fucked-up day. Give me a break! "

"Those fucked-up days of yours are becoming more common."

On top of everything else, I don't need to get fired from the band. I love playing the guitar and singing. I wouldn't like to be in the same situation I used to be.

I'll tell her everything.