Good for you

18. Friends, maybe?

My quick-headed brain and even faster fingers flew away on my phone and I called her.

"Can you come and get me please?"

"Why would I come?"

"Because I took care of you last night. Now it's your turn. "

"I don't feel so good."

"I don't want to drive like this."

"Oh God. Send me the address. "

I kind of scribbled the address, sat on the sidewalk and waited.

"Hey, gorgeous!"

"Harvey, don't be a fool. Sit down and let's go home."

"You came for me...."

"I felt obligated."

I saw on her face that she was crying. The red bloated cheeks and her eyes seemed to shrink from all that crying.

"Why did you cry?"

"How do you know?"

"I always know. Tell me! "

"Oh, nothing. It's my one of my stupid episodes again. I've had too many of them lately. "

"This is no ordinary episode."

"Felix sent me a message."

Fuck. Shit.

"What did he say?" – I tried to stay calm.

"Look at yourself."-she gave me her cell phone. As I entered the messages, I noticed that there was not a single male name among them. That's good. Her background is lame, just plain colours.

While my drunken brain registered that Felix texted her, I went through the messages quickly.

He didn't tell her anything. I don't know whether to be happy or to worry even more. He could've said anything. I don't know why he didn't.

Anyway, it works for me. It's better if she doesn't know. It was so long ago that there was no point in talking about it now.

"I don't know what to say about all this."

"You don't have to do anything. You better tell me why you're drunk. And how many times did you get drunk through this supposedly clean year? "

"What supposedly clean? I am clean. I was. Until tonight. Fuck it."

"Why are you drunk?"

"Should I justify it to you?"

"No, but..."

"Well, then I won't!"

"But you should tell me. It will only be fair."

"Fair?"

"I did you a lot of shit last night. You can do it today. "

"I'm not like that."

"I know you hate me, and you have a reason to. But come on, Harvey, I'm trying to be your friend. You see, I came for you in the middle of the night. "

"Friend? You're never going to be my fucking friend!"

I noticed she was offended. She squeezed the steering wheel harder and gave a lot more gas.

"I didn't mean it like that."

"Forget I asked anything."

"I thought of it as... You won't be my friend because I loved you so much. And that's no way to love a friend. It's not the same love. Get it?"

Fuck my tongue.

"Harvey, please stop! After tonight and all the shit I'm experiencing with Felix, I don't want to complicate my life! "

"I didn't ask you for anything."

"But you did. You've been asking me too much. What happened to the day you drove me home when you leaned over and almost kissed me? Why did you let me kiss you yesterday? Why did you call me today? And all those thing! You are way better without me. As much as I am better without you!"

"It was either that or drive drunk." – I was trying to pretend I was drunker than I am. Just enough to make her think that I'm not serious.

"I'm sick of you!"

We got to my street and she stopped in front of the house.

"If you have anything to say to me. About anything. If you can explain to me what Felix was threatening you with, say it now! To bury it behind me once it for all. This is too much torture for me. Tomorrow I have the first day of work, and I feel disgusting. Dirty and messy."

"I'm sorry I can't be of more help. He just told me to stay away from you. "– Given how she looked at me, I knew she didn't trust me.

"I think it would be good if we didn't see each other anymore. I'm just making your life miserable. "

She doesn't trust me. Why don't I have the balls to admit it? Maybe if she knew everything, we could start over.

"Lila, I..."

"Please get out of my car. You need to get some sleep. And so do I. I have a big day tomorrow. "

I went out without saying another word. It felt like I lost her again. And I didn't even have her in the first place.

♥

I typed a number.

"Tomorrow. Noon. I'll see you in Hyde Park. Is that clear? "

"It's about time."