A Funny Thing Happened...

Chapter One

I was working at home on my dining room table. Papers upon papers were scattered over the table and a small bowl of fruit was next to me. I was taking another forced vacation break from the office. This time I decided to take two weeks of vacation time. This would allow me to stay in the office longer and keep Lorianne, my manager, off my back. The time on my wristwatch was 4:40 pm. I had worked through lunch and now my stomach was not going to let dinner go without a fight. I hated distractions that brought me away from my work. A defeated sigh escaped my lips and I got up to go into the kitchen. Opening the fridge, I groaned. Seeing the vacant shelves reminded me that I still had to go food shopping. I closed the fridge door and rummaged through the pantry for some instant noodles or any other low maintenance food. Frustration itches away at me. I slam the pantry and sit back down. Maybe if I work through the hunger it would go away. I nibbled on the fruit next to me. The fruit pacified my stomach for a few minutes until 4:56 pm rolled around and my stomach growled again in protest. I slammed my papers down.

"Fine," I barked. "To get you to shut up, I'll get something." I slipped into a pair of converse and threw a jacket over me. I got into my car and started down the road. I drove to the nearest supermarket. I grabbed a cart on the way in and maneuver around fruit stands and old ladies shucking corn. I wandered into the bakery and my eyes landed on a pack of Portuguese rolls.

"Nice!" I whispered to myself. "Sandwiches." I grabbed the bread and started picking out other ingredients for my sandwich. Among the ingredients, I also bought other foods that can get me through these two weeks without having to leave the house. I almost made it through the whole trip without talking to anyone until I turned down the chip aisle. Dam my unwithering desire for Lay's sour cream and cheddar chips. This was my last item to grab before heading out. All I needed to do was grab the stupid bag of air with cheese flavoring and get out of there. But God seemed to have finally heard my mother's prayers of breaking me away from being a workaholic and a slight hermit and standing right in the middle of the chips aisle was a person. Not just any person, a rude person who doesn't have the common sense to realize he's taking up the whole freaking aisle. I tighten my grip on my cart and harden my face. I clear my throat and force the fakest smile to crack into my harden face.

"Excuse me," If my voice was any sweeter, he would have surely gotten diabetes. The guy turns his face and with a warm smile, he says,

"I'm sorry I'm having trouble deciding which chips to get. What do you think, barbeque or cheddar?"

Forcing myself to be kind I walk out from behind my cart and walk toward the chips.

"Well, my favorite is cheddar." I grab two bags and place them into my cart. "But that's just me. I hope that helps." I hope that helps you to hurry up and get out of the way.

"Hmmm cheddar," He nods his head. His brown eyes were still scanning over the chips and his trim torso was still in the damn way. "That doesn't sound bad." He grabs two bags than smiles at me again. "Thanks for your help." His brown hair was casually laid over his forehead and slightly moves as he turned to go.

"What a weirdo." I bristled. I turn my cart around and leave the way I came in. This is why I don't like going to the store. People always getting in my way and never knowing what they want. It prevents me from doing my thing. I sigh and head up to the cashier. Putting on my friendly work personae, I awkwardly make small talk with the cashier while bagging my items. Once everything is bought and paid for I go for the home stretch. Out the door and out on the parking lot, I can see my car parked and waiting for me.

"Ma'am!" I keep walking to my car. "Ma'am!" My head cocks to the side as I keep walking. Who's yelling? Running footsteps behind me get closer as the voice shouts again. I turn around and it's chip guy.

"You left this at the checkout line," he says smiling while trying to control his breathing. I take the plastic bag and look inside. My Portuguese rolls!! I left them for last so they wouldn't get squished by the heavy stuff. My face burns hot.

"Thank you," I say placing the rolls onto the cart. "I appreciate it." Satisfied, chip guy nods his head and walks to his car. Embarrassed, I throw my groceries into my trunk, drop the cart off and drive out of there. Back at home, while eating the sandwich made from the backstabbing rolls, I let my thoughts linger for a bit on Chip guy. I hoped I never encountered him again. But my mom must have sacrificed a cow because this guy wouldn't be forgotten easily.