if walls could talk / taekook

01. been about three days and i'm comin' back.

01 — been about three days and i'm comin' back.

Kim Taehyung never really understood human life.

He never understood how they just roamed around the world so peacefully, shunning mischief and "fun." He never understood why him lighting up a mattress got him kicked out of his house, or why taking some beans out of a store got him the strongest scolding of his life. It took him a little while, but he eventually discovered the whole hype over money, although the concept was ridiculous and he still argued about it with his wall. Although he got scolded by his wall, he continued to light up little things regardless for the fun of it, or stole a little candy bar or two "as a way to start a revolution against the idiotic thing humans called money."

All in all, Taehyung would be considered an incredulous and bad person.

Taehyung never considered himself bad, though. He just didn't know things, which was the truth. Back at home, everything he did was normal. Everyone could make their wall talk or shut up whenever they'd like, people could take basic necessities whenever they'd like—not because it was allowed, it was just that no one cared anymore to fight about it,—and people could set fire to anything and everything. Demons were free to use their powers whenever they'd like, considering they had such an ample of powers that were much too fun to play around with.

"People don't have powers here, Taehyung!" The wall exclaimed, obviously annoyed. "They're powerless! Completely and utterly powerless."

The wall he named Clarence was placed on the back side of his apartment, right behind his bed. They chatted often, talking about anything and everything. Regularly did they get into arguments, or banter would be a better adjective, but their friendship stayed true. All his walls could talk whenever they'd please, but they only did that occasionally or when addressed.

"What the fuck do you even mean? They are powerless? That's absurd!" Taehyung exasperated as he watched his wine get poured into a glass with his eyebrows furrowed. "Everyone has powers, you idiot."

"Not on Earth!" The wall, this time, shouted. He heard the wall next to him as he lay on his bed, Georgia, shush him, to which he muttered a quiet "sorry," then continued with being annoyed with Taehyung's behavior. "They don't have all these stupid powers you have. No telekinesis, none of that... charm shit you do, no flying, no goddamned... what's it called? How do you make me talk?"

"Animation, my dear," He responded with a small smirk as the cherry was plopped into his drink on the side. "I also have pyrokinesis—the fire shit—and creation. Albeit, I cannot use creation too much, it makes me tired, so I only use it when I have to. I also have a few other things up my sleeve, but you'll find out about those later."

"No one asked."

"Salty, aren't we?"

"...Anyways," Clarence sighed, his beady eyes glaring at Taehyung, before continuing. "They can't do anything you can do. All humans are complete mortals. They die and, more often than not, become ghosts. It's sad, really."

Taehyung's drink floated towards his open hand, his fingers clutching the glass once near, and he took a sip. "So they can't do what I just did?"

"No."

"How boring," Taehyung scoffed, sipping his drink. He hummed in satisfaction, placing it down on the table next to him and crossing his feet. "You're my only fr—"

"Fuck off," Clarence then rolled his eyes and sighed. "You're so annoying. You say that so often, it's ridiculous. You need friends."

"But why become friends with a human?" Taehyung whined, kicking his feet a little. "They're so boring. All they do is whine, complain, work, eat, and sleep. Then they repeat! Like... what the fuck? What am I gonna do with a human? Whine with them? Complain with them? W...work with them? Never in my life! And I never die, y'know. I'm technically already dead, anyways."