An Open Letter to the Sufferers of Public High School
Dear Sufferers of Public High School,
You have been brainwashed your entire life. As long as you have been a part of the public school system, you have been taught to think in a fashion that is anything but the truth. You have been taught to think and behave in an “acceptable” way that compromises your individuality and your most basic human rights. You have learned to fear punishment which is non-existent and respect the authority of those who have none. You have been lumped into a group of people in your age group since you were five years old and treated as a herd of sheep, all in the name of “education.” You have suffered unnecessarily and so have I.
I was a an exceedingly happy child at one point. So happy in fact, that other kids used to tease me because it was “weird.” I had (and still have) an incredible family. I loved my friends, I loved my pets, and I even loved school. Up until about halfway through fourth grade, I hated missing school. When I would stay home sick I would cry and ask my mom to call my teachers and tell them how bad I felt about not being there. I was an A++ student, I obeyed my teachers’ every command, and I froze in panic at the mere thought of “getting in trouble.” When other kids were punished I took part in the routine isolation and humiliation that separated those “bad kids” from us “good kids.” I’d avert my eyes from them, and cut off all association, and even though I now reflect on how rotten that was, I was just following orders and protecting myself from a similar fate. Seriously, how fucked up is it that I had to think that way as an innocent little girl?
As I got older, I got smarter (naturally) and my problem with authority grew. I laid low for the most part in middle school. I still never got in trouble but I “talked back” from time to time. It was when I got to High School that I started to realize how fucked this whole school situation is, but I continued to live with it, convinced that there was nothing to be done about it and that I had no control. I grew more and more bitter each day in that hell-hole of an establishment because I was completely brainwashed, just like you are right now.
This is the part where my older and much wiser self gives advice to you all that I wish I had known when I was seventeen: a concept that I would have rolled my eyes at, at the time. (I was angry at the world, remember?) Here is exactly what your brainwashers i.e. faculty, administration, superintendent, etc. don’t want you to know, you are a human being, you have rights, and those rights give you power. Looking back on High School, I realize now that it was four years of adults (that I know now are clearly less intelligent than myself and most of my friends at the time) telling me what I can and can’t do, think, wear, say, and express. I was made to cover my body, suppress my feelings, and conform my thoughts which in turn, invalidated me as a human being.
I am well aware of the societal stigma against teenagers. Generally speaking, teenagers are shitty. You do and say shitty things as a result of bouts of extreme irrationality due to a number of factors, a large one being the stigma against you. However, you are still people. People with valid feelings and thoughts, and unfortunately for you, your age is something that you cannot escape. I have spent almost my entire life waiting for adulthood so that I can finally be taken seriously in this world, and here I am, twenty years old and still waiting. The only gift that “adulthood” has granted me so far is the realization that I spent way too long letting people fuck with me and that I don’t have to put up with that shit. I can truly and honestly say that this piece of information is the only one that falls under the jurisdiction of “I wish I had known then what I know now” for me. I could have not wasted four years of my life being miserable.
The inspiration behind this letter is the very few badass young women across the U.S. who have brought the issue of dress code into the recent media as an extension of rape culture awareness. Young women are taught to cover themselves because their bodies serve as a “distraction” for young men and thusly, endanger their education. Young men are told to dress a certain way because it would be sexist if they weren’t. This idea in and of itself it so completely fucked that I can’t believe it hasn’t gotten attention in the media until now. However, I was ridiculed and humiliated by adults almost everyday in school. I was sent to the office for being “inappropriate” and “promiscuous.” (Excuse me hall-monitor lady but how did you know anything about my sex life?) Why you ask? Because they thought I was sexy. No joke. I’m a curvy gal, I always have been. Curves are associated with sex and god-forbid that a completely natural act that is responsible for all human life be displayed at a school! I’m not going to describe to you what my style was like because that is completely irrelevant and I don’t need to waste my time or yours justifying my freedom of expression. The point here is that I was shamed for having a body. That was all. No matter how I wanted to be perceived, or tried to be perceived; despite my personality, my intelligence, my integrity, I was a sex object for wearing a skirt and young men were considered so stupid that they would not be able to control their sexual urges. My intentions were ignored because I was a teenager and therefore considered a complete stupid idiot with no valid thoughts or feelings.
Here’s another one from the vault for you. I had a teacher in High School who I really liked. He was funny, exciting, and an all around good teacher, but I had many tiffs with him in my senior year. He and I always got along splendidly in class...until I would have to go to the bathroom. This was a struggle between he and I, all. year. long. I would ask to use the restroom ( a concept I hate by the way, why the fuck should I have to ask permission to empty my bladder?) and he would always say no. Always. He would tell me that I should have gone in between classes. Not wanting to “get in trouble,” I would sit back down, and wait. Unfortunately, my uterus doesn’t give a fuck about timing and one day I started my period in class. My teacher would not let me go. I tried to walk out the door anyway and he threatened me with a “write up.” Then, I was forced to humiliate myself in front of the entire class and declare that if I could not go to the bathroom, I would bleed all over the chair. Well of course this embarrassed him too and I was kept after class to be reprimanded for being “crude” and “distracting.” Needless to say, he was no longer my favorite teacher.
The list of horror-stories goes on and on and this is just one gal reflecting here. There are hundreds of thousands of stories to be told about the dehumanization of High School students in this country about many, many, many, more issues than I have recalled here. No, not all of these issues will be resolved anytime soon and not all of them will gain significant awareness soon either, but you do not have to suffer at the hands of a corrupt system. You do not have to be brainwashed. I wish so badly that I had spent as much time defending myself against authority as I had against the asshole kids that gave me a hard time in High School. I wish so badly that I had just let my mother call the school and bitch them out as many times as she wanted to. At the time, I was too embarrassed to let her do so. I thought it was more grown up of me to handle it myself, but I didn’t handle it. I just let it happen.
So, Sufferers, for your own humanity, stick up for yourself. Say what you think. Please. Do it. If a teacher is being a total fucking asshole then say something! “Trouble” in school is not really trouble. So you get your name on a piece of paper and have to sit in a quiet room or something. It doesn’t really mean anything. It doesn’t affect your grades, your chances of going to college, or any part of your life after High School. Let your mom call the school and complain. The school has no choice but to please the taxpayers. Start a peaceful protest. It is your constitutional right. Write a letter to the editor for the local newspaper. You can’t be punished for freedom of speech. You are already being punished by having to live in a state of oppression. You are a valid human being right now and you do NOT have to wait until you have graduated to be treated like one. Your convictions matter just as much as those of the principal or guidance counselor or cafeteria lady. Do not let anyone make you feel bad or tell you that you are lesser because of your age, sex, race, etc. Before I digress, here is one for the road: my new mantra courtesy of badass bitch Kate Nash:
“Wake up every morning and tell yourself that you’re a badass bitch from hell and no one can fuck with you, and then don’t let anyone fuck with you.”
Badass Bitches Unite!
-Ramona Goldaline
