All Grown Up: The Story of Jacob and Renesmee Part II

First Goodbye

"I brought Tuck in here so he could play with his brother, but..." her voice trailed off, and she turned back around to look at Roll. "Should we call Grandpa Carlisle? Does he know about frogs?" she wondered. 

"Wake up!" Xandra shouted, tapping on the glass. "It's time to eat your crickets and to play!" She started dumping crickets into his tank. I stopped her as she was begging Roll to eat. "Look, crickets! Your favorite!" "Xandra," I said, pulling her away. "Mommy, why won't he eat?" she asked.

 I took a deep breath. "Sweetie, it looks like Roll must have died."

 "What?" she shrieked. "No!" 

"But nobody tried to drink him, he's been right here!" Mollie insisted. The only thing they really knew about death, was what they'd learned from hunting.

 "I know," I said gently. "I think he just got old. That is what happens to humans and animals when they get old. But not vampires, and not werewolves." 

Xandra let out a mournful sob, and Mollie joined her. I'd never heard any of my kids cry like that. I bent down and pulled them both into my arms. "But I don't want him to be dead!" Xandra wailed.

 "I know, honey," I said. "I'm so sorry." Jake came in then, and Xandra ran to him.

 "Dad, my frog!" she cried. 

"I'm sorry, cutie," he said, picking her up. I became aware then that everybody else was watching from the hallway. Three long faces were looking in.

 "What will happen to him now?" Swan wondered.

 "Well," I said. "How about after dinner, we find a nice little shoebox for him, and we can bury him in the backyard."

 "Kay," Xandra said tearfully. 

"Are we having a funeral?" Anthony asked. 

"Is that what you want to do?" Jake asked Xandra. 

"What's a funeral?" Mollie asked. 

"It's when you bury somebody who has died and say some nice things about them. Sometimes there is praying, or singing. Maybe it'll make you feel a little better," I said. "It's a way of saying goodbye."

 "Kay," Xandra said. 

"How about we have a make your own taco party tonight?" I suggested. 

Xandra shrugged. "I guess." 

"Or would you rather have breakfast for dinner?" I asked.

 "Tacos," she muttered.

 Tacos it is then. As I chopped up vegetables downstairs, Mollie and Xandra sat on the kitchen floor, their backs up against a cabinet. 

"Hey twinnies," Jake called from the living room. "Jessica Fisher is on!" Jessica was a sportscaster, of whom the girls were big fans. They loved at the end of her half-hour program when she showed sports bloopers. "I'll feel silly if I have to laugh at these all by myself in here," he said when they didn't respond. 

Mollie stood first and offered Xandra her hand. "Come on, maybe she'll show another skateboarding one today."

 Xandra took her hand, and let Mollie lead her into the living room. I sighed and kept chopping up the tomatoes. By the time I was almost finished with the vegetables, my eyes were stinging with tears, but not from the pungent onions on my cutting board. As I was digging through the pantry for the taco shells, my phone went off in my pocket. I recognized the song playing as Rachel's ringer.

 "I got my damn period," she said when I picked up. "No baby this month."

 "Aw, I'm sorry, hun," I said sympathetically. I could certainly relate. "Is it okay if I call you later though? Maybe tomorrow."