SUITED

CHAPTER 24

                Hidden Desire

"So you do still love me, despite the way you've treated me lately,'  a statement followed by another kiss, and another, each one growing intensely until Jonnet was left breathless, her protesting hand against his chest.

"Nicholas  ... please!" She murmured when eventually his hold loosened.

"Please what?' He said teasenly in amusement. 'Are you asking for more?"

Jonnet blushed.

"Absolutely not!' She retorted, trying to sound unaffected. 'I was asking you to let me go."

He raised his brows, his eyes full of humor.

"You, yourself are not making much of an effort to escape,' he reminded her lightly. 'Are you sure you really want me to let go?

No

It was the last thing she wanted, and she said steadily.

"Ofcourse I'm sure -'

"Liar!" And she was back in his arms again and his lips found hers; they were eager and responding, she clung at him tightly and her lovely face was glowing with happiness. Somewhere at the back of her mind, there was a picture of a found woman.

Julia

But it was only a picture. The girl wasn't of any importance whatsoever  and at this moment she wished Nicholas would forget about her altogether and choose her instead.

"Jonnet ...' the spell in which they had both fallen was broken, Jonnet could feel it.

"Forgive me, Jonnet. I apologize for that lapse. It was wrong of me."

Silence ... like the hush of doom.

"Lapse ...' the word escaped from her quivering lips. She stepped back, away from him and his arms dropped to his sides. "I'm sorry too,' she continued, a burning heaviness behind her eyes that they started to pain.

"There's nothing to forgive,' she managed in a husky tone, 'It was my fault as much as it was yours." She turned away, staring at the dark sky. 'We - We should have gone in a long time ago."

He voice broke and she stopped talking and decided to walk away, but Nicholas stepped in front of her and Jonnet stopped abruptly and looked up into his face, a plea in she's eyes, 'Let me pass." She murmured, but he stood still.

"I'm sorry,' he said again once he saw her expression. 'I feel like a jerk, Jonnet -' he broke off and she saw a tiny sweat appear on his forehead. 'Our destinies are not meant to travel in the same lane,' he added a bit harshly, and turned to walk off, leaving her to follow, at a much slower pace.

But he had no gone too far when he turned and looked back, just to make sure she was coming. And he waited until she was beside him, then matched his pace with hers.

"You don't have to worry,' she assured him tirelessly, 'I won't go off in the bush again." She saw him flinch at her words, even clench his fist.

Nicholas shook his head, keeping his eyes straight ahead.

"No, I'll walk you inside the house."

After they've been  walking for a few moments, Jonnet said, "I think you'll agree now, that j have to go away from here."

"That's going to be difficult,' he began saying but Jonnet interrupted him, her nerves getting out of control.

"I'm not staying! I want to go home! - as soon as it can be arranged, you can tell Auntie some excuse that you have visitors coming, tourists - or that since your wedding is so close you can't be bothered with visitors. I don't care what you say to her, but say something that will make her understand that we are both unwelcome - not only me."

Her voice faded as she uttered the last words, it choked her.

"Not only you,' he stopped walking as he turned towards her. 'What do you mean?" He demanded.

"It doesn't matter,' she answered impatiently, and was about to walk on, but his grip on her wrist put her to a stop.

"You mentioned the word unwelcome, why?" For one fleeting moment she thought of sparing him the embarrassment, but the moment passes quickly and a great wave of bitterness sweet over her and she did not hesitate to repeat to him what she had overheard on the day of their arrival.

She saw him flinch, and he looked apologetic.

Before he could voice whatever he meant to say as an apology

She yelled at him.

"I don't need your pity! Keep it! You've been pitying me for some time now - I've seen it!" She snapped at him.

His eyes glinted, almost as if he was resentful of this outburst, Jonnet senses he was hurt but just as quick his expression changed, and was replaced by anger.

"You're obviously trying to make me feel bad, but before you start blaming me, look back at what you did to me! You threw me over, remember! And now, I suppose you expect me to ditch Julia just as easily! Well, you can think again - No, don't deny it! I know exactly what you had in mind! You might not care how much you hurt people, but I do! So you can throw that idea of me dumping Julia right out of your mind!"

She stared at him, face red with fury. And she knew without a shadow of doubt that Nicholas still loved her. He had said she might not care how much she hurt people, but he did. And yet he was going out of his way to hurt - to hurt her for what she had done to him.

He was walking away and she skipped a little tokeep up with him. She was now aware of how wrong her conclusions were, about him pitying her. It was love and love alone made him extend his kindness towards her. How stupid had she been! And because of her stupidity she had denied them both a little happiness.

"You're saying this - about not - we - ditching Julia, but you expected me to ditch my disabled fiancèe."

He stopped, and glowered down at her.

"That was different -'

"Different how?"

"Yes different! You promised me faithfully that you would marry me and went back on your word -'

"Because of Max's accident,' she cried, wringing her hands. "Why won't you understand."

Ignoring her plea, he said

"There's a great difference, I made you no promise, so I'm not breaking my word. That's the difference!"

Jonnet spoke gently. 'You're misunderstanding me, Nicholas - No please don't interrupt. I don't expect you to leave Julia -'

Lie

"You did expect if, I saw it on your face."

She nodded in agreement, but went on to say that she did not expect him to break his agreement.

"It's a matter of your honour, I understand now.' She added in the same gentle tone. 'As you've said, Nicholas, pur destinies are not meant to travel on the same lane. Our paths are discord and I accept the entire blame -' her hand went up and touched his sleeve. 'But Nicholas, if you could bring yourself to forgive me, then my life would be much more bearable."

His expression never changed whatsoever.

"I'll never forgive you, never!"

And he stomped off leaving her behind.

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