Dear Harry Styles,
I'm dead and I'm sorry. I never wanted to leave you, but we both knew I had to. I'm writing this while you sleep next to me and you're snoring softly and it's adorable.
You're my sunshine and my strength, Harry. You're my reason to keep fighting for just one more day and you're the reason I can smile through this. At some point though, I couldn't fight anymore and I'm sorry.
I want to go back to the first time we met. You were lying on the beach and the sun was showing off your perfect tan. I remember tripping over my feet and landing half on you and you just laughed and went 'oops' and I just grinned at you and said 'hi'.
I want you to know that it was love at first sight for me too. Your thick pretty hair and long lashes and plump lips. Your dimples and green eyes and your toned body and deep voice. You looked unreal and you gave off this kind, gentle vibe and I was so gone for you.
I loved you from oops.
And then you came to my house to invite my family to a bonfire and you spent the whole night trying to impress me, but ended up with marshmallow in your hair. It was so dorky and adorable and you did manage to impress me.
Then there was the two person road trip where you managed to get us lost. You were so flushed and almost screamed when we got stuck in the street fair. I'm so happy we got lost.
The street fair was probably the best date I've ever had and it was all accident. We got henna and ate weird food and danced with strangers and listened to indie music. And you kissed me for the first time and I replay that kiss even now.
After that you always kissed me. We spent all our time together and we slept together every night and then finally we made love. Right on the beach on your favourite old blanket.
You told me you loved me and I saw fireworks in the sky and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I loved you too and I still love you. So much.
Of course, summer eventually ended but like a classic romantic you promised to write. You kept your promise and your letters were the highlight of my week.
When I found out about my cancer it was around the time I told you about the migraines. I wanted to ease you into it, but actually I've been having problems since before the summer.
You're special to me, Harry. You came straight to me and held my hand. You kissed me and promised me forever even though we both know forever doesn't exist.
Then you proposed to me and my life felt complete. Maybe I wouldn't get to see the whole world and become a teacher and have children, but I'd at least get to call you my husband.
The wedding and honeymoon were the highlights of my life thanks to you. I felt like I wasn't missing out on too much even if I was leaving the world early.
You're everything good in the world Harry Styles. You're happiness and excitement and love. That's what you are for me and I may be dead now, but that doesn't change.
At the wedding you said our love is everlasting. That means it never stops, even when I'm gone. I love you from where I am now and I love you more everyday. Go live a life, Harry and make new plans and go on adventures. Live for the both of us.
I'm sorry I'm gone.
Thank you for making my life the best it could've been.
I love you,
Louis Styles.
(Ps. I have hair up here)
