Lonely Christmas - A Sailor Moon Fanfiction

Chapter 5 - Heartache

But her heart belongs to someone else. Can I blame her? Up until this month I've been nothing but ruthless to her. I teased her, called her names, and just did anything to upset her for my own entertainment. Looking back on it, why did I ever find any of that amusing? God, I think I need to get just a little more immature.

The doors to Crown slide open with a whooshing sound and I blow in along with some snow. The floor at the entrance is wet and slippery so I take my time making my way over to Motoki. That's my excuse for going so slowly, anyway.

"Hey," I greet carelessly, plopping down on a stool as I slide my coat down my arms.

Motoki smiles as if he doesn't know he's ruining my life. "Hey, Mamoru! Give me a second and I'll be right there with your hot chocolate, okay?"

"Eh, no thanks, Motoki. Let me get an iced tea, okay?"

Motoki shoots me a surprised look, but shrugs it off and turns around to get me my order. Yeah, that's right, changing it up a bit. Not used to it? Deal.

Oooh, I'm so threatening with my iced tea.

Because of the snow it's a bit of a slow day, so Motoki sets the iced tea down in front of me and takes a stool behind the counter. He sits down across from me, taking a rag to the already clean, fake-marble surface because he's too dense to think of anything better to do. This job rules his life. What does Usagi see in him, anyway?

"So..." I begin, hesitating by taking a sip of my beverage. I want to delay this process for as long as possible, as if Usagi will come bursting through those stupid sliding doors, shout 'Wait!' and tell me that she made a mistake; that Motoki isn't the one she wants, and she's secretly madly in love with me, and then we'd run away together and...

"...So?" Motoki replies. I shoot him a cold look without even realizing it at first. Quickly, I retract it into a fake smile.

"So I was thinking, y'know, since our last conversation about Usagi," I explain slowly. How can I word this?

"Yeah?" he asks. Shut up. Just shut up, will you?! This is hard enough as it is!

"...do you like Usagi? You know, like, like like her."

Motoki's eyebrow raises and he looks up at the ceiling as if this is some sort of trick question and he really needs to think about it. I roll my eyes, now out of his field of vision, as he looks like he's inspecting the drip stains above us. If he really needs to think about it, then obviously he doesn't love her as much as I do.

Another minute goes by before Motoki decides to snap out of his trance and look at me. He kinda had me convinced for a moment that he had more of an infatuation with the stains on the ceiling than he could for any girl.

And then those dreadful words roll off his tongue: "Yeah, I guess I do kinda like her."

My mind begins to spin again, though not as severely as the night before. Part of me was expecting him to completely deny it, and that would be that. I would tell Usagi that Motoki didn't like her, then go in for the kill. But, of course, nothing really ever goes as planned. That little hope was what brought me to this step in the first place, and now it was gone.

"...Oh," I stammer, rather surprised. Motoki asks me why and I very reluctantly reply, "Because yesterday when I was with her, she told me she really liked you… and it would really make her happy if you took her out sometime..."

I watched this news sink in with Motoki as his face contorted into a variety of expressions. Surprised. Happy. A bit excited. Smiling. Confused. Happy again.

"Maybe I'll take her out, then!" he exclaims, a huge smile on his face. I feel like crying, or beating him up or something, as he thinks about his plan out loud. "Maybe I'll take her to see a movie, or take her out to a restaurant, or that amusement park downtown..."

Idiot. Sure, Usagi likes those things, but doesn't he know she would be much more content walking around town, or through the park? It's Christmas time. She LOVES Christmas time, especially watching other people enjoy it themselves. She wants to be outside, enjoying the moment… not cooped up in a movie theater or a restaurant, for heaven's sake...

I just shrug, taking a large sip of my iced tea.

"This is really great news, Mamoru. I can't believe she told you she likes me!" He wasn't half as excited as I would have been. "Wow, I can't wait until the next time she comes in here!"

As if on cue, our favorite little blonde comes skipping in just as Motoki’s walking toward the entrance. Like I said before, the floor was very wet and slippery, and Usagi doesn't hesitate to begin falling seconds she got through the door. She lets out a little yelp, her small form going down fast. I jump up, eyes wide and arms extended to save her as I run over.

But Motoki catches her tightly in his arms instead.

She's pressing against him, her slim arms wrapped tightly around his abdomen with her head on his chest. She's breathing heavily, looking down at the floor. I can see she recognizes the shoes she's gazing at and associates them with Motoki, therefore lingering longer than necessary in the man's strong hold on her. She stands up slowly, separating the two of them just a bit, so she can look up at his eyes and smile a sweet smile that makes my heart skip a beat. If only she looked at me like that...

"Thank you..." she says softly, her cheeks red. I know it's not from the cold.

I can't take anymore of this. I toss my money carelessly onto the counter and get up, walking past them without so much as a goodbye to either of them.