Hello, My Name is Crazy.

Learning from my Mistakes.

-Art is mine ^^^Ponyboy (my depiction for this book/fanfic) with Darling. Its a work in progress currently. The finished product will be at the end of this chapter.- 

It feels like an eternity before I wake. And there he is. He's sound asleep against me just laying here. I'm still sore and I'm still achy both physically and emotionally. I'm pissed. But being mad is so tiring and I seem to be running on less and less energy lately. Its like I'm draining myself dealing with this situation. And all of the situations before it. My parents died. I starved and cut myself for weeks. I moved to a new country. I watched my neighbour get shot. I was kidnapped. Beaten. Raped. And almost sold. Then, to top it all off, my unofficial boyfriend pushes himself onto me...only to have me find him almost fucking my brother a few hours later. So— yeah. I'm tired. Drained. Out of luck and love and energy. He stirs.

"Ponyboy...you awake?"

"Mn..yeah...What is it, Dal?"

"I really am sorry. For everything. But mostly for disrespecting you so much. I'm not going to do that crap ever again. And...fuck..I swear to never hit you again, Pony. I promise. I'm an idiot."

"You really are... I already told you though, I forgive you. Its just...a little hard. I don't know how to feel. Or how to act. I feel sick all of the time. And I just want to feel normal. I am so screwed up mentally and now on top of that, I'm alone. I lost Soda and I lost you. My people. You guys weren't ever supposed to hurt me like that."

"I know, Pone. I know, Baby. I've got growing up to do. I am gonna treat you right. I'm gonna be a good friend to you. And hopefully once we work passed this all, we can be more. God, I hope we can. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me.. I just don't wanna lose you."

"Because I make you feel better about yourself? Because I put up with your crap? I won't be some trophy boy-"

"No, no. You being happy makes me happy and knowing I can be friends with someone so...full. It makes me feel like I'm with the most important guy alive when I'm around you. You everything to me. Pony you're the closest thing to family I've ever had. You and your brothers who wanna kill me."

"You're a sap, Dally."

"You love it."

"I do."

We stare at each other like a couple of numb skulls before he sighs and sits up. I follow. Timidly. Slower. My back aches. Once we're both sitting upright, he places a hand on my shoulder and shakes his head.

"You're beautiful."

"You're a dick. But a handsome one at least.."

"Why, thank you. That's the nicest thing you've said to me in days."

"What should we do now?"

"We could take Darling for a walk?"

"I'm too sore."

"We could take your brothers truck into town. Go see a movie in theatres or something."

"Eh...pass. Any more ideas?"

"Beach?"

"Hmmmmm..."

"What about a date? Like a dinner date?"

"Where do you propose we'd go for such a thing?"

I look at him quietly and deep in thought as he scrambles his brain to think of an appropriate answer. A proper place to go. A date. That would be nice. There's no strings. I don't have to do anything but sit and eat with this guy. And talk. He hurt me and we were getting so close. Can we mend that? And what about Soda? Can I mend what my brother broke? Can he mend it? Will he even try? My thoughts are broken when the bedroom door creaks open and Sodapop walks in briskly towards the closet.