A Heart's Struggle

Chapter 10- "Funeral"

4 days later

4 days later the funeral was held. The wake was the day before but Crystal couldn't find the strength to go because she just wasn't ready yet.
She stood in front of her full length mirror admiring her black skater dress and her perfect little curls. Erica had always loved her natural curls better.

"Are you ready?" Saul asked, peeking through Crystals door and snapping her out of her thoughts.

"Umm...uh yeah" Crystal croaked.

"Are you sure you want to go?" Saul asked, now fully stepping into her room. To be honest he cleans up really good, he looks nice in a suit.

"Do you think she'll be mad if I didn't go?" Crystal asked uncertain.

"No" Saul responded.

"I want to go " Crystal said, straightening up her back, trying to be strong but she was weak on the inside and she knew it.

When they got to the funeral home that's when Crystal cracked. Everything she had thought she had cried out wasn't gone. She cried 5x worst then she did at home. The walls were covered in pictures of Erica. But the thing that had got her was the giant portrait picture next to the casket. It was a picture of Erica and her in the flower meadow Crystal had taken her on their anniversary. It was a perfect sunset, the lighting was great for the picture. They were so happy in the picture, now Crystal cant even remember what it was like to be happy anymore. When Erica died all of Crystal went with her.

When the service started that's when Crystal noticed that that casket was open and that you could see the corpse. Someone was speaking but she completely blocked them out, she blocked everyone out. Not even noticing, Crystal stood up and slowly walked over to the casket. She slowly kneed down next to it, then laid her arms and head on it.

She had no idea what she was looking at, the person in front of her wasn't the girl she remembered; the girl in front of her looked like a giant doll. But she also looked so peaceful. She remembered back in Teen Wolf how Peter Hale says death felt like an eternal peaceful rest and she just hopes that was true for her.

"Come on baby. I... I need you to come back. P-please don't leave me, not like this. I would of died for you, I would love you all my life" Crystal pleaded to the body with her last ounce of ambition. This is what strong girls do. Right?

"Crystal ?" Aureily asked, snapping Crystal from her daze. Crystal slowly turned around to meet Aureilys red and puffy eyes."do you want to say something."

After a moment of thinking she slowly stood up and took the microphone from Aureily.

"Um... Most of you don't know me but um.." Crystal drifted off and turned around and glanced at the body again." But I'm Erica's girlfriend or at least I used to be... Erica was a...was an amazing person, if anyone deserved to die it wasn't her. She was very beautiful, smart, hyperactive, jitterish, enthusiastic, shy, sarcastic and uh life changing. God she was so afraid to die, I can't even imagine. She didn't deserve any of this. Erica made me who I am today or who I was, she tucked a peace of herself into my eyes. I have no idea who I am anymore. I have no idea what I'm going to do with out her now. I'm going to go out of my freaking mind, I think I would die without her. I'm uh ...lost I'm so lost and lonely I feel like I've lost everything. She was my everything. I love her, haha I used to tell her all the time "I love you and that's all that matters." And to be honest I don't care what anyone says. I'm in love with her and now I'm bleeding in love. Um.. When you loose a member of your pack it's like loosing a limp, but losing a mate is like trying to breath without oxygen, it's like drowning." Crystal spoke while playing with her necklace. Crystal took one last glance over to the body she once knew and noticed that Erica was still wearing her necklace from their anniversary. And that made her smile.
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After the funeral was over Glori, Saul, and Crystal were the last to leave but before they left Crystal ran over to Aureily.

"Aureily um I mean Mrs. Garcia" Crystal started.

"Mom" Aureily corrected her.

"Mom, do you mind if I slept at your house to night...in Erica's room?" Crystal asked.

"Of course" Aureily replied with a smile. 'How does she do it?' Crystal thought.

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When they got to Aureilys house after picking up clothes for Crystal and getting Aria, Crystal went directly up to Erica's room as expected. Crystal stood in the door way and just stared at the room. Aria ran in but then stopped and looked up at Crystal when she didn't move. Aria started to wimped but Crystal ignored her. Crystal was overwhelmed with memories at the sight of the room. The room saw exactly the same, nothing was moved, everything stayed in its place.

Crystal slowly walked over to the dresser and gazed at the college of pictures that covered the mirror so much you couldn't even see your reflection. They were all pictures of them.

Soon enough Crystal changed and crawled into Erica's bed. It was comforting and welcoming, it felt like home. Crystal stayed awake most of the night staring at the ceiling in the dark, yearning for Erica's touch. As she heard Aureily down stairs breaking glass and crying. There was a good chance that she was drinking too.

"Your the reason I hold on, and I just need this whole gone." Crystal whispered to herself then cried herself to sleep and so she did for the many nights after.