Bang Me (The Big Bang Theory Fan-Fiction)

"Friends"

Three more knocks rang throughout the apartment once more. I closed my eyes, dreading another encounter with the four strange men. I slowly walked to the door, having an overwhelming feeling that I would soon regret my decision. I opened the door and was surprisingly filled with happiness by seeing that it was Penny at the door. “Oh thank God,” I said, hugging her more than I ever had in my life. 

“Nice to know that you missed me but I just forgot my keys…” She finished talking and I realized that I was still hugging her. She finally pushed me away after almost a full minute of hugging. “What’s up with you?” 

“A very long day, that’s all,” I finished with a sigh. 

“Well, I’ve got some Chinese food if you want. You can come over and meet some of my friends that live here.” 

“That’d be great. Where in the building do they live?” 

“Just across the hall, come on.” She grabbed my hand (and her key) then led me across the hall and knocked on the door. I had a sure feeling that soon I would begin to hate any door knocking, mostly in this annoying arrangements of three. 

“Come in!” I heard someone yell. Penny led me in the room, still holding my hand. My happiness quickly diminished as soon as I noticed that this was the apartment of the men. It made me feel slightly better that Sheldon was gone. Maybe I had gotten lucky and he didn’t live here. That would make everything much better, maybe even bearable. It was nice to know that I wouldn’t have to live next-door to someone that insane 

“Take a seat,” Penny told me as she started passing out the food. I went and sat on the open part of the couch next to Raj and Howard. Raj got an extremely nervous look and whispered something in Howard’s ear. 

“You’re right,” Howard said, looking at him and then turning to me. “You really shouldn’t be sitting there.” 

For some reason his comment offended me and I couldn’t help but reply with obvious annoyance in my voice, “And why not?” 

At this Howard seemed to back off, as though I had scared him. “It’s your funeral,” he finally said calmly and then sank back into his seat. I ignored his comment and picked up my food and began eating. 

A few seconds later I heard someone running into the room right before a shrill cry of, “She’s in my spot!” I looked behind me to see Sheldon angrily looking down at me. 

“Yes Sheldon?” I asked, trying to sound as polite as possible in hope that it might annoy him further. 

“You. Are. In. My. Spot.” He said, separating e very word very clearly. “Penny!” He yelled and turned from me to her, “tell her to get out of my seat.” 

“Why does it matter?” I protested. 

“Just get out of his seat before his head explodes,” she said coolly, as though she had faced this exact situation many times before. 

“Fine,” I said getting up, but only moving to sitting on the arm of the couch to try even harder to torment Sheldon. He started to say something but Leonard pulled me off to prevent any further Sheldon meltdowns. 

“I’m sorry about Sheldon, he’s a bit crazy,” Leonard said, not even trying to whisper. 

“What’s wrong with him?” 

“We all have our own theories.” 

“There is nothing wrong with me!” Sheldon yelled. “My mother had me tested.” 

“Alright then,” I said, trying to ignore the amazing amount of awkwardness in this room. “Penny, I think I’m just going to go back to our apartment. It was nice meeting all of you, but…” I stopped to think of a way to put this nicely, but I couldn’t fine one. “It really wasn’t.” There was no point lying to these people, with my luck they were probably able to read my mind anyway, just to find new ways of annoying me. I had known these people for less than 24 hours and yet it made me regret even moving into the building. I picked up my food and headed out the door and back into my own apartment. I only hoped that I wouldn’t have to go back to that place across the hall to the funny farm ever again.