The Attack

4. Past

Alec was shaking his head, while a few tears fell down his face.

"It wasn't a nightmare... It was worse..." Whispered Alec.

Magnus frowned. He moved, so he was sitting beside Alec, who was still laying on the sofa with Chairman Meow asleep on his chest.

"What is worse than a nightmare?"

Alec's jaw clenched, that was the only way to keep it from shaking.

He was moving his head, and moving his hands, which were under the blanket, so Magnus couldn't see them.

Chairman had woken up too, and was looking at Magnus annoyed.

The Warlock put his hands under Alec's chin to lift it up a bit, so he could look at Alec in the eyes when he answered.

"Answer me, Alexander. What is worst than a nightmare?"

The blue-eyed boy couldn't bear answering someone while looking in the eye, do he just stared at Magnus' hair, when he answered.

"Me-memories..." He whispered, but it was enough for Magnus to hear it.

"Memories?" Alec nodded, and moved his head, so he could look at the floor. He was getting nervous. "What... Kind of memories?" Asked Magnus, whispering.

Alec brought his hands out of the blanket and took Chairman in his arms, sitting up on the sofa.

"Uhm..." Alec began scratching Chairman's ears, trying to calm himself down before he panicked. The Warlock saw that movement, and knew Alec was calming himself down. "I-I..." He really didn't know how to start; Alec always hated explaining himself.

He took a deep breath.

Two minutes later, Alec had tried to talk, but he couldn't, and Magnus knew there was only one way to know about Alec's answer.

"If these memories... If you are trying to explain them to me... Is that what you're trying to do?" Asked Magnus, to be sure that was what Alec wanted. The Shadowhunter nodded, in agreement.

"Okay, if that's what you're trying to tell me, but you don't know how to... Say it... We can go back to your memories, and watch what you're trying to tell me. Do you understand what I mean?"

Alec was confused, he hadn't understood what the Warlock had meant.

"So, uhm... I meant... Do you remember what I told you I did, to bring your bow back?"

The boy with blue eyes nodded slowly.

"Okay, we can do that, and go to the memories you wanted to tell me... But, only if you want to, I don't want you to feel pressured because of me. We're doing that only if you want to."

Magnus saw Alec sighing, and put a hand on his shoulder; he flinched, but didn't move to get away, as he had done the other times.

"If you don't want to, I won't get mad... It's your decision, and only yours." Magnus told him.

Alec smiled at him grateful, and let some tears appear. They weren't sad tears at all, he was just so happy that Magnus had given him the choice to do whatever he wanted.

Alec felt he could trust Magnus, he wasn't going to hurt him. Since he had woken up, in Magnus' apartment, the Warlock had only taken care of him; he hadn't done nothing more.

Magnus truly cares about him. He finally had someone who cared about him, and not faked it

Alec had made a decision: he was going to try to trust Magnus, and he was going to let Magnus watch his memories.