Low // KELLIC

4

It was the morning of graduation and I was walking in the opposite direction of the school. I was surprised I was even up and about right now, what with all the blood I lost last night. I tried to kill myself. I wanted to do it today, but when I got home last night I completely lost it and went away, hacking at my wrists. Only it didn't work. I passed out then woke up again this morning, wishing I was dead. But, at least I could go through with it how I had planned.

"Hey!" I heard a voice call.

Spinning around, I saw Vic with the window of his car down. He hastily parked and jumped out of the car, running towards me. Oh God no. I didn't want to see him today. Not now. What would I even say to him? I was on my way to kill myself! The building I was destined to jump off was right there, just a few feet away was the entrance.

"Hey, you didn't answer any of my calls or texts last night. I was really worried about you," he said when he got to me. I tried my best to push away all emotions right now. I couldn't break down now. He'd never let me out of his sight if I did.

"Yeah, I went to sleep kind of early 'cause I was tired," I lied. I barely slept a wink last night.

"Oh, alright. Well, are you okay? You left so quickly yesterday and I just...I don't know. I'm just really sorry," he said, giving me that same sympathetic look he gave me yesterday.

"Don't be sorry. It's not your fault. I'm fine, really," I said.

"Are you sure?" he asked, his eyes flicking down to my wrists which were covered by long sleeves.

"Mhm," was the only sound that came out of me.

I couldn't speak. If I spoke then I'd cry, and if I cried, well, like I said, he's never let me out of his sight and that couldn't happen. He was the one thing standing in between me and my freedom. He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck, looking a bit nervous.

"So, uh, do you need a right to school? Graduation starts soon," he said. I needed to talk now, so I choked back all emotion.

"No, I'm fine. I'm just going to think for a little while," I said and pointed towards the building.

"Oh, okay, but you're still coming to graduation, right? Because I really want you to go," he said. I hated lying to him, but it had to be done if I wanted to be left alone.

"Yes. I'll be there before the ceremony starts," I lied.

"Pinky promise?" he asked childishly, holding up his right pinky finger. I smiled my very last genuine smile. He was too adorable for words.

"Yeah," I lied and laced my finger with his. We shook them and dropped out hands.

"Alright, well, I'll see you there. I'll save you a seat," he said, grinning widely.

I just nodded my head and gave him a fake smile. He turned and went back to his car, so I turned too, back towards the building. The second my back was to him, I let the tears fall freely. It hurt lying to him. It hurt so much and I know he'll be mad at me, but I was so desperate to just end it all. That's all I wanted and there was nothing that would stop it from happening.

Vic'S POV:

I looked around the crowded room, searching for any sign of Kellin. The principal had given the order for all seniors to take their respective seats and I looked next to me, seeing no Kellin. He promised me. Maybe he's just running a little late, or maybe he just hated me and didn't want to see me. I felt awful for rejecting him like that yesterday, but I couldn't just pretend I liked him like that. That wouldn't be fair to his feelings.

I admit, it was a little weird that he kissed me, but I wasn't a homophobe or anything like that. I just wasn't into guys. I never had been. I knew Kellin was gall all along, so I guess I probably should have made it clear that I wasn't. I just hoped I didn't ruin our friendship, because even though he's just a friend and we haven't known each other for long, he's so special to me. I just want to help and protect him.