Habits (Larry)

8.

Harry and Louis were on their way to the stadium. Harry wish he remembered what the stadium was called, but he didn't. His navigation steered him in the right direction. Harry could barely keep his eyes on the road. He felt this urge to keep his eyes on Louis, to make sure he wasn't doing anything bad. Harry wanted to keep Louis safe. He wanted to hug Louis and hold onto him and never let go. Louis just sat in the passenger seat, in a slouched position, looking upset. Harry wanted to ask what was wrong, but he didn't because he already knew. Louis was upset because Harry had just forced such deep, personal information out of Louis, and that was tough for him. Harry still had millions of more questions in his mind, but he just set them aside in the back of his mind. He also knew Louis had lied about his eating patterns. He knew Louis purged, he just needed his last bit of proof. He knew that the boys would all be forced to eat before going on stage, so he would watch and follow Louis. Harry knew how awkward the car ride was so far, so he turned on his radio station. The song collide came on. Louis seemed to sit up a little

"I really like this song."

"Me too."

Harry listens to the lyrics, getting lost in the words and meanings.

Even the best fall down sometimes

Even the wrong words seem to rhyme

Out of the doubt that fills my mind

I somehow find

You and I

Collide.

Harry always thought of Louis when he listened to this song because it reminded him of a time he spent with Louis and heard this song.

(September, 2011)

Harry tries to focus on the road, but he can't. He can only focus on Louis. Him and Louis were coming back from some gay bar Louis suggested they go to for fun. But Louis had gotten drunk, and Harry knew it was best they go home to their flat. Harry thought Louis looked amazing tonight, even though he was drunk. "You look amazing." Harry says with a grin. "Do I?" Louis says with a smirk. "Always love." Louis laughs and jumps around in his seat. "Put on the radio station! I need some music to listen to!" Harry presses the button. Some slower song comes on, and Harry doesn't recognize it. He likes the tune though, and by the word that's very repetitive throughout the song, Harry figures out the song is called collide. Louis seems to have calmed down a little and he sighs with a pleased smile on his face. "I like this song. It reminds me of you Harold." Louis slurs. "It reminds me of us." Harry says dreamily. Louis jerked up in his seat again. "Will you always love me?" He asks with the biggest smile on his face. Harry laughs. "Always Lou, and this can be our song." "Would it be wrong if we go back to the flat and have sex?" Louis asks laughing. "Not at all Lou." They reach a stop light. Louis grabs Harry's shoulders and pulls him towards him. Harry's lips touch Louis' soft lips. They kiss until the light turns green, which is a few moments. "I love you so much Harry." Louis says. "I love you too." Harry says, with such truth in his voice it makes him proud.

Harry kept his eyes on the road, but in the corner of his eye, he saw Louis staring out the window, getting lost in the music playing. "He always loved music." Harry thought calmly. The car ride was quiet. Harry didn't like it. He wished Louis was still loud like he used to be, so he could shake things up with one of his conversations. Harry was upset. It made Harry feel sick to his stomach how thin Louis had gotten. He couldn't believe his eyes. He tried to shake away the thought of Louis standing there shirtless, his head bowed in shame.

"You have arrived at your destination." The navigator said with a high pitch voice. "Your route guidance is now finished."

The stadium was huge, but Harry was used to it. He and Louis jumped out of the car and raced into the backstage, to find the other boys standing there. They all immediately went to hug Louis, who they hadn't seen in a while since he had been "sick". Louis smiled a tiny smile. "How are you feeling?" Zayn asked. "Was bed rest awesome or hell?" Niall chimed in with a grin. "Did you know this stadium is one of the biggest we have played yet?!" Liam said with a mind blown expression. Harry frowned. Louis looked overwhelmed. Then, his face seemed to relax, and he watched as Louis managed to answer all their questions in one statement. "I feel grand, thanks Zayn. Bed rest was both hell and heaven Niall, good rest, but I wanted to be out performing with you lads. I did not know that Liam, but thanks for the fun fact." All the boys looked pleased. Harry wasn't. All he could think of was how fake Louis was being to all of them. Fake smile, fake act. It made Harry nauseous to think about it. He tried not to think of it that way, but he couldn't. It was forever stuck in his mind.