A Heart's Struggle

Chapter 9- "My Angels Gone Home"

After I finish calling Saul and setting the table I sit around and pick at the food. Saul arrives shortly after and we start eating after praying. Dinner goes the same as usual, we talk about our day and I ignore my dad. Over the last couple of months it was gotten worse and my mom is threatening to send us to family therapy.

After dinner we all go our separate ways. Saul,mom, and I go to our rooms while my dad stays in the living room to finish work. I take a shower then put on PJs. I then crawl into my bed with Aria and meet the ceiling once again. I check my phone only to see that Erica still hasn't texted me back. So I throw my phone onto my night stand then drift into a short sleep. Because no longer than an hour later a worried Saul bursts through my door.

"Crystal get up now! We need to go to the hospital! Get up!" Saul rushes me.

"Why" I ask jumping up as million thoughts of reasons why we need to go at this time of night run through my mind.

"Erica..it's Erica. Her dad and her got into a car crash and they said she doesnt look to good." Saul says on the brink of tears. Saul has never been much of a cryer but Erica is like a sister to him now.

With that I jump out of bed, grab my phone and jacket then met Saul and my mom in the car. On our way to the hospital I can't stop shaking and I break down into tears thinking of all the possibilities of what could of happened and death is at the bottom of my list. I can't loose Erica, she cant die. Not without me. When we get to the hospital I jump out of the car before my mom can park and Saul trails after me. When I get in I see Aureily standing in the middle of the emergency room talking to a doctor. She turns and looks at me, she is in tears just like me and her eyes flash with and apologetic look.

"Is she okay , where is she, can I see her?!" I say a little to loud, the questions spilling out and my tears increasing.

Aureily pulls me into a tight hug but I push her away. I don't want her comfort or sympathy. I want Erica.

"Where is she ?" I ask again, softer and the sound of pain laced between my words.

Aureily looks at me then back to the doctor, then starts to cry again. She can't say it; what is it, what is it that she can't say. Please don't be what I think it is.

"Erica has just passed... I'm sorry" the doctor finally spoke up.

At that moment in time everything goes mute, my world just seems to stop and there is a sharp pain in my chest. I'm full of disbelief. Suddenly I'm pulled back to reality.

"NO!" I yell. "your lying. I swear if this is some sick malicious joke...she can't be dead, she can't die, she's not supposed to die." I yell throwing a chair against the wall.

Everyone winces the loud bang. Saul grabs me from behind and I struggle to get lose but his grip gets tighter and he drops to the floor with me still in his arms. My mom finally Rushes in and it doesn't take her long to figure out what happened. She rushes over to Erica's mom and they hug each other tightly leaving no space between them and start bawling their eyes out.

Saul and I are still on the floor, I am still in his grip and we are rocking back-and-forth while I whisper "she's not supposed to die" over in over again. Saul rubs soothing circles into my back. Finally when I have calmed down we stand up and I just run for it. I run right through the two swinging doors of the emergency room, I pull open every curtain until I find the one with Erica in it.

I have to see her again, I have to make sure she's okay, I need to feel her touch again, I need to tell her 'I love her' again. I need Erica.

Finally I find her, and my eyes can't bare the scene. I feel like my heart is been stabbed with a million knives and I can't bare the pain. I feel like my soul has just been ripped out of my body and was torture right in front of my eyes. This is the sight that I have been denying but I needed to know. Its a tragic scene, she's covered in blood and scratches, there are two nurses cleaning her up.

I instantly drop to my knees and the tears start rushing down my face hysterically. I sit there and stare at her cold, emotionless, lifeless, pale, body there MY beautiful mess lays dead. She is no longer my hyperactive, jitterbug. She is just so still that it scares me.

Everything feels as if it is in slow motion again as everyone rushes over to me. Saul once again attempts to hug me but I'm not having it. I'm suddenly filled with anger again, anger and strength I never knew I had. I push him away and start throwing things and flipping things over everyone tries to stop me, tries to calm me down, but I fight them off. I'm mad so mad and broken I feel like an alpha wolf that has just lost his mate and Im rotting from the inside out, slowly and painfully.

Soon enough 2 large muscular male nurses approach me. One grabs me, while the other sedates me. I'm left in my moms arms on the cold ground and everything starts to get blurry and things start to spin. My eyelids begin to grow heavy and Im left hoping to be engulfed into a peaceful rest and hoping that this is all just a dream. A tragic and heartbreaking one at that.

*Erica and her dad decided to extend the trip a day longer, on their way back they got into a car crash with a drunk driver. Juan died at the scene but when Erica got to the hospital her lungs collapsed and she couldn't be revived.*

There is no such thing as life free from cruelty, there is only love and pain. And tears shine as bright as silver tipped arrows because this is what young girls do and this is how strong girls die.