first time.

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the first time it happened, kaycee had no idea how to react.

a long 5 pm to 10 am dance session led to an impromptu sleepover, and although the two normally slept in different rooms while in each other's houses, the exhaustion from staying up an additional 3 hours to relax and talk in sean's room hit harder than usual. at least it hit kaycee harder, as her sleeping schedule started at around 11, not 1 am. sean's was sporadic, which she knew since she often received ridiculous texted memes or long rants about some creative concept in the early morning hours, so him being able to last past 2 am wasn't a surprise. neither was her falling asleep on his bed, in the middle of their late night chats.

what really surprised kaycee was what she found when she woke up.

at around 7 am that morning, kaycee's internal clock urged her to wake up, much to her discomfort. the bed was warm and soft. it enveloped her in a different world of serenity, a world that had ample weight and thus, held her down in her slumber. she really didn't want to leave it. but gradually, her headspace cleared from sleeping to dozing. like exiting a hot shower into the cold air, it was a slow, shocking transition for kaycee to lift herself out from the black comfort of sleep, to start feeling the light of the morning sun shining on her skin, and to realize that someone was cuddling her from behind.

immediately, kaycee snapped fully awake, her body stiff.

intuitively, she knew who was hugging her, but barely-awake kaycee, like any other person, was groggy and could barely register the situation. she twisted her head to look back, barely moving her body, hyperaware of the weight of someone's arm curled around her waist and stomach, and the deep rise and fall of someone's chest against her back, their knee scraping against her thigh.

the someone was sean.

he was dead asleep, energetic eyes now shut in peace, black bangs messy and brushing against her forehead. he breathed softly, quietly. kaycee felt the heat of it against her nose. in the early morning daylight, amidst the dozing haze over their heads and the warmth of his embrace, sean looked ethereal, radiating peace and yellow dreams.

still, kaycee held her breath, her intuition confirmed. she lay there for a moment, their foreheads close together, her best friend wallowing in the tranquility of sleep while she remained a bundle of red, embarrassed nerves.

his chest rose and fell, rose and fell.

for a brief second, she considered staying there and letting herself enjoy the safety, the tenderness in the space sean surely felt. it nearly enveloped her in the different world again. but a bigger part of her screamed repeatedly, like an alarm blaring, your BEST FRIEND is CUDDLING you! WHAT do you DO?

kaycee decided, for the good of both their dignities, to slowly ease herself out of the position, make breakfast, and pretend it never happened. thank god he was such a heavy sleeper. she was, for once, grateful that the annoying tick of his has finally found a reasonable use in her life. so she slinked out of the warmth and into the cold, positioning a pillow between sean's arms as a placebo for her, and left his bedroom. the door clicked shut.

when sean awoke, a good hour after she did, he stumbled into the kitchen in a daze and asked her if she wanted breakfast. the brightness of his face was cheeky and playful, even in the haze of languor. kaycee, who had been sitting at the center island and scrolling through her phone, shut it off with a click and shook her head no with a smile.

sean shrugged with good nature and opened his fridge, his back turned to her. "did you eat though?"

she stared at his shoulders, her own back feeling cold. "yeah, i had oatmeal. it was good."

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