I'm Here For You

When will we learn to love ourselves?

"And what about you? You gonna wait around for her to forgive you too?"

"I'm...gonna study my ass off, get a job and...try and get over the girl back home. I'm gonna stay out of Lucy's way because it's what I should've done when I broke up with her." Lauren's eyes darkened as they met Vero's again. "But I swear to God, if I find out that you've hurt her again, I won't take it as lightly as I have today. I've cared about that girl longer than you know and I won't let you fuck her up the way I did." She took a step closer to Vero. "So be better than me."

And she left their conversation at that, leaving the brunette to ponder her words and figure out a way to make things right with Lucy. Lauren knew that she needed to stay away from all her ex-girlfriend's friends and associates now. She needed to give Lucy that freedom to find a life outside of the one Lauren involved herself in.

And while Lauren was working on ways to make her own life a little better, Camila was fighting with herself to write lyrics she couldn't quite put on paper.

She felt the tune in her heart and she heard it in her mind but putting words to it was proving to be the hardest challenge. The tune spoke of healing, it spoke of loss and it spoke of a renewal of self-love but Camila was struggling with herself on finding words to match what she was feeling exactly.

"You know you don't have to get it done now, right? You can take your time." Shawn chuckled lightly. "It's good that you're struggling a little though," He reminded her. "It means that it's coming from somewhere deep down and it...matters."

"It used to be so much easier to just expel all the lyrics I needed onto paper but lately I've been on the verge of ripping my hair out because it's there but I can't get to it." And Camila knew why. She knew that for so long she'd leaned on Lauren to take away all her worries and stresses, leaving her mind clear enough to produce lyrics that felt right, but without Lauren, her mind was clouded with everything she always burdened her best friend with.

"We'll try and get pen to paper again tomorrow," Shawn lifted himself from the desk chair and packed his guitar into its case before offering the brunette perched on her bed a soft smile. "Don't stress about it too much. We have a gig lined up in a few weeks, that's plenty of time. And if all else fails...I have a few songs written out that I'm sure will cover it."

"I'm sorry I'm such a disappointment." Camila huffed, covering her face for a moment.

"Mila," Shawn rolled his eyes. "Your best friend just went to college, you got out of a real shit relationship and your stupid ex-boyfriend showed up out of nowhere," He touched his hand to her shoulder and gave it a soft squeeze. "Give yourself a break."

And the brunette appreciated his kindness, offering the boy a gentle smile in return and nodding. "Same time tomorrow?"

"I'll be sure to bring a banana smoothie to boost your motivation." He mused before making his way to the door, stopping before slipping out of it. "And look, I know you miss Lauren, but she probably misses you just as much so...I guess you can take comfort in that, right?"

"Right." The older girl nodded, not quite believing his words but understanding where he was coming from.

Shawn left and she found herself pondering everything in her life. And yes, she'd chosen him but she hadn't told him that. In fact, she hadn't told anyone that. She was almost sure Clara knew but that's because Lauren was always really close with her family and kept them in the know. But aside from them, Camila had pretty much kept her choice a secret.

She was in a good place with Shawn now. They were working on music and getting to know each other again. She was changing in the way she was seeing herself. No longer was she the girl that cowered away with insecurities controlling her every move. Now she was ready to take the stage with him and sing her heart out because that's what she loved to do.

And he was different too. He was enjoying life and he'd even started at the local college where he'd signed up to clubs. He'd invited her and Dinah along to slam poetry nights and open mic nights. He was more adventurous now and Camila could see how well that change was working out for him.

Overall, they were two new people working on getting to know each other and Camila didn't want to mess with that yet, not when it was only now becoming so comfortable. And Shawn never made a move to change it either, something Camila hadn't quite expected. He knew Camila and Lauren weren't together and with the amount of time he had been spending with the former...she was sure he'd try something if he still felt anything for her.

And that left her stumped too. What if he didn't feel the same way about her anymore? What if he has moved on from that love?

It was all just...too complicated and Camila didn't want any of it. She wanted to make music with Shawn, have her best friend back and ignore any other complications that arose from that. But life wasn't that simple for her and so she was scared.

She decided she'd wait to see how things progressed with Shawn.

"Mija?" Alejandro knocked lightly at the door before peering in to check on his daughter. "How's song-writing going?"

"It's not." Camila scoffed, shuffling all the papers together before popping them into her notebook and patting her bed for her dad to take a seat.

"I've been meaning to check up on you about everything." He leaned back against the headboard of her bed. "Had some big changes happen recently."

"You're telling me." Camila scoffed, tucking her notepad under the bed before leaning back against her headboard as well. "I miss Lauren."

"I figured that would be at the top of your list." The father chuckled, lifting his arm for his daughter to settle against his side. "And Shawn's reappearance really surprised your mother and I. I had half a mind to kick him out."

"He's a good guy, Dad." Camila rolled her eyes.

"He broke my little girl's heart," Alejandro scoffed. "He's got some making up to do in my eyes."

"Bet Lauren doesn't."

"Of course she doesn't," The father chuckled. "That girl's an angel."

"Are you disappointed that things didn't work out with her and I the way you guys thought they would?"

"Honestly? A little." Camila looked to her father as he spoke. "But above all, we just want you to be happy, mija," He kissed the top of her head. "As long as the decision you made was in your best interest...then we can never fault you for it."

"She wants space." Camila decided to confide in her father. "And I want to give it to her, I do, but I'm so used to her always just...being there, you know? Now I'm stuck here and she's all the way over there and I know it's selfish but...I want her here too." She sighed, snuggling closer to her father. "Adult life is so complicated. Take me back in time, I want to be the little kid sitting on your shoulders again at the mall."

"Trust me, you're still that kid," Alejandro nudged his daughter playfully. "Just a little bigger now." He saw the small smile play on her lips. "Mija, soon you'll find yourself faced with a moment of clarity where everything will finally make sense to you and all these complications you find in your life will unravel into what they're meant to be. Fate has a way of working things out as you go."

"You still think fate is Lauren and I ending up together?"

"I think fate will take everything you go through and make them make sense. Whether that's love with Lauren, with Shawn...hell, with Dinah!" He laughed, the sound eliciting a similar sound from his eldest daughter. "Fate is what happens as you live your life."

"I still love him, you know?"

"We figured as much." Alejandro nodded. "But do us a favour?" Camila looked up to her father. "Learn to love yourself a little more first before you decide to expel all that love on someone else."