I Miss You • Woosan

The truth doesn't hurt so much

San immediately noticed Wooyoung in the middle of the floor as he opened the studio door, and the look that he received from Wooyoung was one of sorrow and pain.

San felt a stab to his own heart.

What was Wooyoung doing to himself? How could he help?

San practically slid on his knees over to Wooyoung, dropping the coat that he had been holding.

He could see that Wooyoung had exhausted himself and the fact that Wooyoung was hunched and in tears in the middle of the room only made San more worried.

San reached out a hand to pry Wooyoung's hand from his face.

"Are you ok?" San asked pulling at Wooyoung's wrists. Wooyoung didn't answer.

"Wooyoung?" Still nothing and still Wooyoung's arms were glued to his face.

"Please Woo . . tell me what's wrong, I'm worried. You're scaring me"

San felt a tear escape, sliding down his cheek, he had to hold it together though. For Wooyoung.

San gave another pull at Wooyoung's wrist before letting go, and letting his own arms drop to his sides in defeat.

Wooyoung hated this. Feeling's aside he missed San, he missed his best friend and he was exhausted both physically and mentally.

Wooyoung wanted to let San pull his arms apart, he wanted to fall into San's warm embrace, he wanted to hear that everything would be ok. But how could he allow himself to do that when he felt something more than just friendship for San? Would San hate him if he knew?

Wooyoung slowly began to drop his arms, allowing San to finally see him in this vulnerable state. He kept his gaze glued to the floor.

"Oh Woo . ." San began with a sigh " . .What's wrong? You're my best friend, but this past week you've been avoiding me, did I do something wrong? You can tell me"

"I can't" was all that Wooyoung could say

"Why not?" San said scooting closer and placing a hand over Wooyoung's.

Wooyoung paused for a moment trying to gather his thoughts. More than aware of that soft hand covering his.

"I just can't . .If you knew why then you'd be disgusted, and I don't want you to hate me" Wooyoung finally said.

San was confused. 

Disgusted? Hate? Those were two words he would never associate with Wooyoung.

"I could never hate you Woo. No matter what your going through let me help. Let me in"

Wooyoung went to pull his hand out of Sans grip, but San only held on tighter.

"Tell me how I can help you, I promise I won't judge you" San pleaded, this time more tears began to escape.

Wooyoung knew that San really would do anything for him. Maybe everything would be ok?

San definitely wasn't going to go anywhere, Wooyoung knew that all too well and Wooyoung was too drained to go anywhere himself either.

Wooyoung looked at San. Really looked at him, searching San's eyes for answers. Wooyoung choked up a little when he saw that those beautiful eyes were filled with tears.

Wooyoung watched as San tried to pull a smile for him, but he could see that it was pained.

Wooyoung realised that he wasn't just hurting himself by denying these feelings, but he was also hurting San who he loved deeply as a friend, and maybe now something even more. He'd cut San off and Wooyoung knew that San probably didn't know why. He'd left San in the dark.

Would San really be ok like he promised, knowing that he liked him? That he thought of him this way?

Wooyoung felt his mental wall crumble. "I . . " Wooyoung began, a need to release his thoughts that were swelling in his head.

San lent in. Was Wooyoung finally telling him what was wrong?

"I . . I . ." San could see that Wooyoung was struggling, he gave Wooyoung's hand a little squeeze in motivation.

Wooyoung couldn't get the words out, not with San looking at him so intensely. Wooyoung looked at their reflection in the studio mirror, and then to the floor.

"I think I . . I like you" Wooyoung sighed as he finally accepted his own feelings with words aloud, looking back up to San. He braced himself for whatever was to come next. Maybe San would yell, maybe he'd hit him, maybe he'd storm out . .

But "Ehh?" was all that San said tilting his head.

San hadn't expected that. This time San went silent and averted his gaze. "Wooyoung likes me?" he thought to himself. His heart sparkling with hope.

After a moment of silence and thinking he looked back at Wooyoung "Really?" San said squeezing Wooyoung's hand again.

More silence passed and San didn't yell or retaliate like Wooyoung had expected. Instead he was intensely squeezing his hand.

Wooyoung looked at San's hand on his and then at San's face, then back to their hands. San didn't look like he was going anywhere. Wooyoung slowly turned his hand over so his palm met San's.

Wooyoung was surprised that San didn't let go, instead San closed his hand tightly around Wooyoung's.

San could feel his cheeks flushing but he didn't care, looking at Wooyoung's hand in his as he breathed a happy sigh of relief.

Now Wooyoung was really confused. He wasn't sure what San was thinking anymore.

A smile spread across San's face, "Good" was all that he said.

San couldn't wait anymore.

All of a sudden he sprang forward closing what little space that was between them, eyes closed, lips meeting Wooyoung's in an instant.