Isn't She Lovely (A Harry Styles Fanfiction)

Chapter 10: Mother Knows Best

“You’re her Dad, she deserved to know that.” Lacey stated simply, looking at me with a frown as I nodded slowly.

“When it was convenient for you.” I stated my tone matter of fact. In no way did I sound angry, out to hurt her or anything. My words were a simple realization, one that I just happened to say out loud.

“It isn’t like that.” She stated her voice quieter.

“But isn’t it? You’re the one who didn’t want to deal with any of this at all. You couldn’t handle me on the X-Factor; you didn’t want anything to do with our success. You still don’t. Because then the attention wasn’t always on you.” I stated, frowning slightly.

Lacey shook her head at me, narrowing her eyes some. “You’re right, I didn’t. Fame like that changes people. I didn’t want to deal with the girls, the paparazzi, and the fact that you’d be gone so much. You’re absolutely right Harry, I didn’t want it. But you know what? I grew up and I realized something, it isn’t about me. Or you for that matter, it’s about Layla.” Her words were firm, her eyes glued right to me as she spoke. I set my jaw, looking at her as I shook my head.

“But bringing her here? Lacey, I know nothing about children. Watching Lux was different, she wasn’t mind, I got to give her back at the end of the day, she doesn’t need the constant attention and time that Layla does and I-I can’t give that to her.” I told her, frowning. Lacey sighed heavily, shaking her head.

“Harry-“

“No, I can’t. I’m just one person, I only just found out about her a few weeks ago at most. How do you expect me to drop everything and become a father? I can’t do it, I can’t be what she needs.”

“Harry, if you just-“

“I mean it Lacey. She deserves better than me, not some half beat dad that’s never there.” The words were spilling right out of my lips. I liked to think that I was the kind of man that kept a good hold of my emotions. I didn’t let a lot get to me, in this industry you couldn’t. You had to keep a calm mind, a level head and most importantly a smile to keep on going at the end of the day, but at that very moment it was like something snapped within me, like all of the pressures I had been presented with were finally beginning to take its toll. I just let it all out. I didn’t even realize that I had stood up, that I was looking at her with such an intense gaze, that my heart was racing in my chest, my breath coming quicker. “I know what that’s like, to have a dad that’s never there, and she doesn’t deserve it Lacey she doesn’t. And if I-“

“Harry, this is not about you!” Before I knew it, Lacey was right there in front of me, her expression out right pissed. Her voice was an absolute shout, cutting me off echoing against the walls of the flat and I looked down at her in disbelief, mouth parted slightly, chest heaving. “This is not about you.” She repeated her voice much softer than it had been before. “Or me. Like I said before, it’s about that little girl okay? I mean if anything, don’t you want for her what you didn’t have? You might not realize it Harry, but you’re walking right in your dad’s footsteps. It may be a different situation, a different generation, but it’s the same thing.” She said, her voice soft as I shook my head looking away. I wasn’t like him. In no way was my father a bad man, but he wasn’t there for me like he should have. My step father was more of a father to me than he was. I swore to myself I would never, ever do that to my child…

But she was right. I hated it so much, but she was right. I was doing the same thing, using my situation as an excuse, just like he did… I swallowed hard, my jaw set as I closed my eyes briefly. I couldn’t do it, I had this thought in my head because I didn’t give myself the option to think otherwise. People managed to have a relationship with their child in far worse situations and here I was backing out, chickening out. That wasn’t right.