Sexual Healing My Ass

Soon to be forgotten

A/N
Hey guys!!! It's me again😁 Just a tiny disclaimer/spoiler but I have no idea what goes on at a Catholic funeral since I live in a predominantly Greek Orthodox Christian country so pls don't be too harsh on me. Anyway, hope you enjoy☺️(your suffering??? there is absolutely no pressure here)
PS. The fanart doesn't belong to me and I couldn't find the original source soz😬

Update: Stan's GOTH hat, not emo.

*Butters' POV*

Oh, hamburgers! There's no way! It's only been two hours and he's already gone! No. This isn't right. He wasn't supposed to go this way. Yet, it seems exactly like how Kenny would die. God damn you autoerotic asphyxiation! Does Kyle know? Of course he does. His family's probably the one that organised his funeral in such a short notice since his mum's an extremely organised control freak and Eric told me that he has a lot of Jew gold.

I felt a lump forming in my throat. Kenny. My dear friend Kenny. He's gone. How could this happen? It feels like a part of me died with him. Now I'll never get to tell him how I truly feel. How he's the reason why I came out as bisexual two years ago. And trust me, being a bisexual freshman was not easy. Especially with Eric still around...

I waited for my dad to go to work and as soon as I heard the door close I let out the water works. I was crying, sobbing, almost screaming out my anguish as I let salty tears burn my puffy eyes, rolling down my flaming cheeks, snot dripping out of my nose. I looked like a hot mess. After about 10 minutes I calmed down and decided to wash up. The cold water put out the fire in my cheeks helping me cool down. I looked at myself in the mirror. My eyes were still slightly red and puffy but I didn't care. It was a good enough look for the funeral.

I combed my hair down with gel and brushed my teeth. Then I put on a white shirt with a dark navy suit and trousers and black dress shoes. I was debating over wearing a tie or a bowtie but decided not to wear anything cuz I didn't wanna look too formal, especially since it's Kenny's funeral. My dad came home in half an hour and then drove me and my mum to the funeral whilst going on about how this is an exception to my grounding.

*two hour time skip*

"Ashes and ashes, dust to dust" said Father Maxi, wiping away a tear, as he closed the Bible. Kenny's mum sat next to me, with his dad on her left. She wore a long dress with gloves and a small hat with a net that covered her face, all black. Her white napkin was soaked as she sobbed uncontrollably while holding my hand. Not gonna lie, I was holding her hand mostly for myself. Luckily my mum sat next to me instead of my dad so I won't get grounded for being a pussy.

As I was waiting in line to see Kenny in his coffin, I kept looking around to see if Kyle's here. Now that Kenny's gone he's the only one who can understand me and my disease. I couldn't see him anywhere. Did he not come? No, that's impossible. Kenny and Kyle are best friends. Were best friends.

Finally, I spotted a little red curl coming out from a black puffball hat. Huh, I guess Stan kept his goth hat over the years. He was wearing a black hoodie with black sweatpants and his black school shoes. Kyle tucked in the curl back into his (Stan's) hat and started walking away. I ran over to him as fast as I could, almost tripping over myself about 50 times.

"Kyle. Kyle!"

He ignored me.

I grabbed him by his shoulder and turned him around.

"Kyle, why are yo-"

Kyle looked absolutely horrible. I'm not being rude or anything, he's a handsome guy, he just looked like a hurricane came over him. His face was as pale as snow and his cheeks were stained were past tears. His eyes were almost as red as his hair and really puffy. On top of all that he was shaking like crazy.

"Oh, hamburgers! Kyle! Are you ok?" I said looking up to his dark green eyes, which were starting to tear up. His mouth began to tremble as he bit his lip, trying not to cry.

Quickly, I took his hand and pulled him towards the chairs that were set up for the funeral. As soon as I sat him down he started crying crocodile tears. People turned around to look at him but I ignored the stares and sat down next to him and brought him in my arms. I took off the hat and brushed my fingers through his soft fiery hair as he continued to soak my shoulder with his tears.

"There-there, fella, it's gonna be alright. He's in a better place now." I whispered, fully knowing that he's gonna go to hell for dying like that. "I'm sure god had a reason for taking him from us so fast."

Kyle suddenly looked at me, his eyes as puffy as ever. "He's gone because of me. I killed him." he said as he immediately went back to sobbing.

"Oh come on, Kyle. You know that's not true. He's gone cuz he choked himself with a belt."

Kyle stopped crying and mumbled something into my shoulder.

"What was that?"

"Wit wash fy felt..." he mumbled again.

"You gotta speak up, fella, I-"

"IT WAS MY BELT!" he suddenly screamed jumping up from his chair. "IT WAS MY BELT, OKAY?! HE USED MY BELT TO CHOKE HIMSELF!!! THE BELT THAT I GAVE HIM!!! WILLINGLY!!!"

At this point the whole funeral was staring at him. I stood up. I grabbed his face and I pulled it down to my level, as he was a head taller than me.

"Kyle, it's not your fault. You gave him that belt because he's your friend and he needed it. You could've know that he would do that." I calmed him, looking straight into his eyes.

"But I'm... was his best friend. I should've guessed by the way he was acting when the doctor told us about... that. I should've know better."  he said quietly, looking down at the ground.

"If you knew Kenny you'd know that he would find a way to do it. Wether or not you gave him your belt. He was always stubborn with stupid stuff like that. And anyway, Kenny's poor as shit, he'd have to borrow a belt at some point, for choking himself or not." I cooed him as he fell back into my arms.

"Thanks, Butters. You're a real friend." He said, looking at me with those beautiful forest green eyes of his, that have regained their shine.

"No problem, Kyle" I said, gently kissing his forehead.

Ta daaaaa! Second chapter! Oof, that was sad😢 At least I hope it was... Anywayyyy imma be updating this story at least every week and that's CERTAIN. Bye guyyyys, have nice day/night/morning/midday(/time/space/matter-wait what are we talking about?) or you know just suffer through life like I do, no pressure...