eleven; the puzzle pieces

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You know that state right before you fall asleep where you just lie there in bed? I hate it because my brain hates me

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You know that state right before you fall asleep where you just lie there in bed? I hate it because my brain hates me. During this time I'm always thinking about every little mistake or embarrassing moment that ever happened in my life and it takes me forever to fall asleep. For example, the time that I accidentally said "you too" to the cashier at Walmart when she asked me if I wanted the receipt on November 13th...last year. More recently, I've been caught up on the bullshit I said to Spider-Man at Liz's party a few days ago.

Peter Parker came through that night. He brought Spider-Man, but he and Spidey ended up bailing. But before Spider-Man left to go save New York or whatever, my intoxicated-self made me come across as a bumbling dumbass.

"Oh gee golly Spider-Man thanks for saving me! That was awfully nice of you!"

Yeah of course that was nice of him, it's his fucking job to save people, Nico. But the worst sentence I said was in response to when he asked me if I was okay. I said I was all good. All good? What the fuck, Nico? I'm never this awkward but then this spandex wearing insect dude comes along and makes me feel like...like...saying "you too" when the cashier asks if you want a receipt. How dare he. Who gave him the right?

And while we're on the topic of who gave someone the right, who gave Peter the right to make me question my friendship with Flash? He's my best friend. He can be a dick, I can admit that, but it's not his fault? Or is it? I don't know. I guess I'm just making excuses for him but I think that's because I know the truth about him, or at least generally; his parents suck and I'm the only real friend he has. I love Flash. He's not always mean, he can be fun and kind (only to me, but he always follows up by calling me Nikki D or whatever other "nickname" he has for me) and I guess whatever Flash lacks I have, and we're just these really bizarre puzzle pieces from completely different puzzles that shockingly fit together.

But, I like Peter Parker. So, I'll tell Flash to ease up a bit. But only if Peter stops making me question my life choices. Also if anything, I should be questioning his life choices. That kid is a whole mess. He disappears so often and has the weakest excuses. He's hiding something and I know it. I'll get it out of him. In time. But not tonight.

We accidentally made plans to go to the movies and I'm not gonna be one of those jerks who talks during the film. And by "accidentally," I mean that we both mentioned we wanted to see a shitty slasher movie that came out and I jokingly said "it's a date." To which he jokingly replied with "alright pick you up at 7" and now it's 6:57pm and I can see him walking down the sidewalk as I write this and my hair is a fucking mess. I gotta go.

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