Be My Mistake - Matty Healy FanFic

Chapter Twenty

I slowly reached up, wiping the dampness off of my cheek, mentally cursing at my mind.

Truth was, that this restlessness was just the boredom of my never resting brain that kept me awake. Sleep was a luxury, and when I ones in a while thought, I had finally won the battle against my conciseness that was keeping me awake, my imagination got the upper hand and tormented me in my sleep.

Three weeks had gone by without Rosie's warm body. Three weeks without the soft, soothing sound of her casual humming into my ear when I tried to fall asleep. Three weeks without the innocent smile and caring look in her eyes whenever I had done something stupid. Three weeks without her hand randomly stroking its way through my hair.

Every bit of my body was aching for her and that reflected on my sleep schedule - or lack thereof.

Back in the days, things like this could be solved with numbing substances but now the only drug that seemed to work was embodied in the most selfless, astounding and breathtaking girl i knew, who was located far away and out of my pathetic reach.

I winced and blinked rapidly at the sudden light from my phone as I pressed the home button to check the time.

Here I was. Three-thirty, a Wednesday night in a big hotel room somewhere in Europe. I didn't keep track of the cities and honestly, I couldn't care less. It was all just the same. Wake up, explore another big capital, take a couple of pictures, eat some junk food, play the concert, back on the bus or in a hotel room, sleep, repeat.

Touring had grown to be one big timetabled machine with occasional blunts and glasses of red stuck in here and there, and a little more so than anybody liked. I could tell by the way the rest of the band looked at me, that they were worried. Especially George. He had seen me on my lowest and it didn't take many glances or subtle comments before it was clear, that he only thought it was a matter of time, before everything would come crashing down around me.

I smiled at the picture that covered the background on my phone. It was taken a couple of months back when we had one of our unproductive days at home. It was a picture of me, putting on a confused face with Rosie's small foot pressed against my ear as if I was using it for a phone. She had laughed hysterically as she snapped the photo and had changed my background. I actually hated that photo of me. There was plenty of better photos of me, but I had kept it, only so I could hear her bell-like laugh inside my head every time I unlocked my phone.

My finger hovered reluctantly above her name on the contact list. Normally I wouldn't bother her at night, but I couldn't stand the thought of robbing myself of the chance of seeing her face, now that I had already allowed my mind to indulge itself in my memories of her.

It only rung a couple of times before her tired, yet beautiful, face appeared on the screen in front of me.

" Are you alright Matty? It's the middle of the night," she asked with a yawn as she reached up to rub her eyes tiredly.

I instantly felt the warmth rise in my chest by the sound of her voice even though it was more hoarse than usual. I couldn't help but feel a little guilty from my selfishness of waking her up.

She was probably going to school in the morning.

" Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Things are just tough tonight," I replied hesitantly, stroking my hair back as I observed how she sat up properly in her bed. " You are wearing my shirt," I added with a small smile, referring to my old Fleetwood Mac shirt that was hanging loosely over her small body.

She nodded and sent me a small smile, " It smells like you," she said, blinking, as her eyes were still trying to adjust to the light from her screen.