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XXXV. Five Years Later

Five years later...

Chapter Thirty-Five
Soroya

I walk over to the stereo, turning the volume up and waiting for the song to play. I have found that Sia is an artist I really enjoy. Her voice and song beats are easy for dancing to.

I walk to the middle of the studio, staring at my reflection as I begin to move to the music. I recently cut my hair again, with it now resting at my shoulders. I notice the bags under my eyes don't look as prominent today and I don't look as gaunt. I try to smile at myself, but it feels half hearted.

I try to dance whenever I can. Not only did it numb my brain, but it let me pretend I was living a different life; a life I should have had but never did.

After we left The Garden and returned to earth, I immediately went to Wakanda. I told Okoye and Khari the news, even though it was the last thing they wanted to hear. I stayed in my room an entire week. I barely ate or slept. Khari pretty much did the same thing in Alex's room. Okoye came and visited us once a day.

I didn't want to take care of myself. I didn't want to eat or sleep, I just wanted to lie there and sit in my own misery until I grew old and died. But then I thought about all the other people that were suffering just like this. Those people who needed help. I started feeling guilty that I was lying here when I could be doing something to help, but I know that I had no reason to be guilty. Just because I have powers doesn't mean I'm entitled to put my problems aside and focus solely on others. But I can't only focus on me and not on innocent people suffering. That wasn't me. I made a vow to myslef to never change who I was and what I stood for no matter what happened to me; whether that be HYDRA, Killmonger, or even Thanos. I needed to do what was right.

I decided that I need to take this one step at a time. On the ninth day, I got out of bed and took a shower. On the tenth, I washed my clothes and put new clothes on. On the eleventh day, I took a walk outside of my room and ate an entire meal. During that day I went to see Khari and told him of my day by day plan. He decided he would do the same, knowing his nation and the rest of the world needed him.

On the twelfth day I called Steve. He hadn't been doing any better than me. He had stayed in his room for almost as long as I did before coming to my same conclusion: that lying in bed won't change what happened. But we can make a difference by helping the other innocent people suffering.

Steve said that he and and Natasha are going to a meeting in London to pick new government officials. He asked me if I wanted to attend. I took a moment to think about it, but I agreed to do it. The thought of being in a room full of people right now made me want to crawl back in bed, but I had a job to do. Steve said he'd come and pick me up in two days, so I spent those two days making some decisions I was sure about.

I went to Khari and I told him I wanted him to keep hold of the boxes of Alex and my childhood things. There's wasn't anyone I trusted with them more. He promised me he would look after them. Next, I had a talk with Ramonda, Okoye, and Khari. I told them that Wakanda was the closest thing to a home I have, and that because of that I will always protect it, but I had to help the rest of the world too.

Okoye, to my utter shock and amazement, agreed with me and said she wanted to help the rest of the world too. She has always had one allegiance, and that was to Wakanda. When we all looked at her incredulously, she simply said: 'It's what T'Challa would have wanted.' Khari agreed, saying he would do the same because Alex would have wanted him to. Ramonda was sad to learn I would be spending less time in Wakanda, but she assured me that my home would always be here. The council members didn't much care that I would be here less, they haven't warmed up to me much in the last few years.