The Gods of Song and Poetry

Chapter 0 - Cuddles

From the moment Mr. Parker stepped on stage to announce her, Analee felt her heartbeat accelerate. What she had planned was no longer just an idea. It was an action. When she stood, she realized she was gripping her poster board too tightly and forced herself to release it. She smoothed out the crinkles while forcing her feet to start moving.

As she scooted out of the aisle and began the walk down to the front, she began her favorite mantra. "I am become Death, destroyer of worlds. I am become Death, destroyer of worlds." It really had nothing to do with the situation. She just liked the feel of it in her brain. It made her feel powerful and confident. Well, more so than she would have otherwise. Then again, maybe it was fitting for tonight. There were a lot of relationships that could be altered forever in the next few minutes.

When she was even with the front row of seats and was about to cross the small abyss between them and the stairs leading up to the stage, she surprised herself by bolting to the right. Without remembering deciding to do it, she ran to where her parents, little sister, and grandparents were sitting in the front. Her mom smiled and leaned forward, probably thinking her daughter was coming for a reassuring parental hug, but the smile turned to a look of confusion as Analee knelt decisively in front of her little sister's seat.

She put her stack of poster board face down on the ground, and raised her hands with a little "come here" gesture. Her sister, just going into seventh grade, was startled. She did as she was bidden, though, and leaned forward. Analee put her arms around her sister's bony little shoulders, and made sure their heads were positioned so that she could whisper into her sister's ear without the rest of the family hearing.

"I need you to promise me something," she said. Her voice sounded a little panicked and shaky. She told herself to calm down.

Her sister sounded slightly scared when she said, "What?"

"Promise me that no matter what, as soon as I'm done reading this, you're going to come up on stage, and hug me, and tell me you love me."

Analee pulled back and saw the worried look on her sister's face. "Okay, but why?"

"Just promise me Kristy. You're my sister and I'm going to need you."

"I promise, Ani." Her eyes were wide, and Analee could tell she was scaring her sister a little. She put her forehead on Kristy's, what they called a sis-hug, and silently begged her not to forget.

Analee took a deep breath, got up, and walked to the four little stairs that lead up to the stage. She suddenly realized she left her poem on the ground and ran back to get it, making a few people in the audience chuckle at her shy smile of embarrassment.

She climbed the steps and walked over to the small podium. It was in front of a microphone stand. After considering the set up for a moment, she made a decision, and moved the microphone closer to the front of the stage so that she could use the mic without the podium. That way there wasn't a barrier, as Mr. Parker called it, between her and the audience. "This isn't about feeling safe," she told herself.

"Hi. I'm Analee Jennings. I was supposed to read my poem 'Stars Through The Winter Pine tree Canopy' for you, but I made a little change."

Mr. Parker had sat back down in the front row and had his legs crossed, hands interlocked on his knee. When he heard this, he lurched back a little and sat up straighter with a wary look on his face. The whole point of the little hour long recital was to present nice, finished poems to the audience. That's what all the peer-review and teacher approval was for. He looked like he wasn't sure what to do, but stayed in his seat as Analee continued, forcing herself to speak slowly and clearly.