***COMPLETED *** Endlessly [A G-Eazy Story, Third Book to If I'm Lucky]

Chapter 20, Part 1: "What's so wrong with me?"

"Did you see that Kaitlyn and Grady got engaged?" I asked as I sat down next to Gerald on the couch. "Her ring is super pretty."

I pulled up the photos of Kaitlyn's ring that she sent me to show Gerald, but he didn't seem that interested.

"I saw," he said as his eyes trailed back to the tv. "That's good for them, they'll probably have a destination wedding."

"What if we got married?" I blurted out as he looked up at me. "Maybe before Rosie is born?"

"Didn't I just say that I wasn't quite ready to be with you yet?" He asked as he sat up. "You wanna go from being just friends to married in an hour."

My heart skipped a beat in my chest before I felt it starting to sink. Tears had welled up in my eyes.

"I didn't mean right this second," I muttered. "I just thought..we could be a little family. Have the same last name, live together..."

"We are a family, we do live together, and you don't need to my last name to be a family," he said as he stood up. "Every family is different."

I frowned as I watched him walk over to the refrigerator to grab another drink. He walked back over and noticed my frown.

"What's wrong, Rachel?" He sighed. "We don't need to be married. Not right now, at least. You know every time we get together, we fight and break up. I don't think you need that right now with being weeks away from giving birth."

"They've been together for less time than we've been, and they're already engaged," I muttered as I wiped my eyes. "Don't you want to spend the rest of your life with me?"

"I don't need a piece of paper to prove that I want to be with you, Rachel," he said as he put his drink on the coffee table. "Just a few days ago, you were happy that I said I was working on trying to be ready for you, now you're wanting to get married. Why the sudden change?"

The silence between us grew awkward as I tried to find the words to say, but they were all jumbled in my head, and it was hard to form a sentence.

"Because I'm jealous," I whispered as I started to cry. "Kaitlyn has everything that I don't. A stable relationship, a fiance...when is it going to be our turn?"

"Kaitlyn doesn't have a family, which you do, so she should be jealous of you," he said as he put a hand on my shoulder. "I just don't think it's the right time for us."

"You've said that my whole pregnancy," I sighed as I wiped my eyes. "I don't think it will ever be our time."

His hand dropped from my shoulder and he stood up again. I picked up my head and watched as he paced, running a hand through his hair.

"I never said I didn't want to be with you, I said that it wasn't the right time," he groaned. "Rachel, you're pregnant. You don't need the added stress right now given our track record."

"But that hasn't stopped you before from getting with me!" I blurted out. "Why the change of heart all of a sudden?"

"Because I don't want to get married!" he yelled. "I don't want to be tied down and committed to you right now. You know I love you, and I would do anything on this Earth for you, but marriage is something I'm not fucking ready for. When will you get that through your thick ass head?"

His words took me by surprise. I wasn't ready for them, and hearing him say that he wasn't ready to be committed to me stabbed me in the heart and hurt in more ways than one.

"I just..."

"Save it, Rachel," he chuckled as he slipped his shoes on. "This conversation is over. I'm leaving before this gets any worse, and I say something I regret."

Without another word or letting me get one in, he grabbed his keys off the counter and walked out of my apartment. I started to cry once I realized that he wasn't coming back tonight, and I picked up my phone to call Kaitlyn.

Within the hour, Kaitlyn was coming through my door holding a pizza box and a tub of vanilla ice cream.

"No need to cry anymore, your best friend is here!" Kaitlyn smiled as she kicked the door shut behind her, causing Bentley to lift his head from his dog bed in the corner. "So what happened?"

"I just told him that I'm...jealous of you and Grady being engaged and that I wanted that for us, and then he just told me that he didn't want to be committed to me," I choked out as I started to cry. "What's so wrong with me?"

Kaitlyn plopped down on the couch and threw an arm around my shoulder, pulling me into her.

"Nothing's wrong with you, Rach," she whispered. "Gerald is just being an asshole. I'm sorry that he said those things, but you shouldn't be stressing about him. In just a few weeks, you'll be welcoming a beautiful baby girl into the world."

"Do you think Gerald and I will make up in time?" I sniffled as she pulled away to open up the pizza box. "I don't want to go into labor alone..."

"Oh, he'll be there whether you're fighting or not," she said sternly. "I'll make sure of it. He needs to be there to support you."

I laughed quietly at her eyes when they widened and reached over to grab a slice of pizza from the box.

"Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry you had to leave Grady after getting engaged so soon," I frowned as I picked off the pepperoni on my pizza. "I feel so needy."

"Girl, Grady's fine," she laughed as she took a huge bite out of a slice. "We had sex six times between yesterday and today. I think that'll be enough to hold him over while I'm here with you."

"Ew," I giggled as I grabbed the remote off the couch. "Do you want to watch Spider-Man: Homecoming with me?"

"I don't know much about Marvel, but I do know that Tom Holland is a fucking babe," she smirked. "So, yes, I'll be glad to watch it with you."

Before we started the movie, we got situated with the pizza and a bowl of ice cream between the two of us. She pressed play on the remote and opened up two cans of soda for us to drink from.

"I'm always going to be here to cheer you up," she smiled. "No matter what I'm doing, I'm just a phone call away."