It was late before Kristie managed to get rid of her sister, Amber and Sarah. She was grateful for the concern the three girls had shown towards both her and Rachel after the incident with Brandon and Kacey.
Kristie felt fine, she wasn't the one who had been square rocketed in the eye. Rachel however, was in a different kettle of fish entirely.
Kristie knew that Rachel was pushing her away, she could feel the distance between them already and Kristie was ready to do whatever it takes to fix it.
"Rach..." Kristie muttered quietly, standing in front of the girl who was sat at the kitchen counter drinking her tea.
Rachel looked up at her, but didn't say anything.
"What's wrong? You've barely said two words to me for the last like two hours and you won't even look at me..." Kristie said, her voice suddenly seeming more confident than it had a moment ago.
"Nothing, I'm just tired." Rachel said before swinging her chair around so that she was facing away from Kristie again.
Kristie huffed and walked round the island so that she was standing in front of Rachel again, "What the hell has gotten into you?"
"Nothing, can you please move so I can go upstairs?" Rachel said as she stood up.
Kristie folded her arms and shook her head, "What the fuck have I done this time?"
"Nothing yet," Rachel laughed.
"What does that even mean?"
"It means, Kris, that I'm fucking terrified you are going to leave me again. And I'm scared we're going to end up like last time."
Kristie sighed as Rachel pushed past her and walked upstairs, slamming the kitchen (and then the bedroom) door behind her.
Kristie sat down at the table and put her head in her hands. She figured that it would be better if she let Rachel cool down first before she went upstairs to talk to her.
•Flashback 1 year ago•
I will leave my heart at the door
I won't say a word
They've all been said before you know
So why don't we just play pretend
Like we're scared of what's coming next
Or scared of having nothing left,
"RACHEL! Wait!" Kristie screamed as the girl she had spent the last week with ran barefoot out of their hotel room and into the lobby of the Fairmont Grand Del Mar Hotel in San Diego, California.
Rachel stopped as Kristie tried to reach for the girls hand but she pulled it away quickly, not wanting to be touched.
"Rachie, I...."
"Don't." The English girl spat.
"Don't fucking call me that. You have no fucking right."
Look, don't get me wrong
I know there is no tomorrow
All I ask is
If this is my last night with you
Hold me like I'm more than just a friend
Give me a memory I can use
Take me by the hand while we do what lovers do
It matters how this ends
'Cause what if I never love again?
"Rachel please come back inside so we can talk properly..." Kristie pleaded.
It caught her by surprise when Rachel turned back and walked back into their hotel room.
Kristie followed her back in the room and she stopped herself from speaking when Rachel put her hand up.
"I am going to talk and you are going to listen and answer my questions."
Kristie simply nodded, tears falling from her eyes. She quickly looked away from Rachel's glare so that she could wipe her eyes.
"You are not single like you said?"
"Correct."
"And did you tell me this before we slept together 6 times?"
"No..."
"And why the fuck do you think I would EVER give you another chance."
I don't need your honesty
It's already in your eyes
And I'm sure my eyes, they speak for me
No one knows me like you do
And since you're the only one that matters
Tell me who do I run to?
"I don't expect you to forgive me...."
"Okay, great. Because I'm not going to. Ever." Rachel said, turning away again.
Kristie watched as the other girl began to pack her things, "Where are you going?"
"I'm fucking leaving." Rachel said, chucking dollar bills at Kristie.
"For the room so your boyfriend or whatever can't track it back to this hotel room. I know you don't want anyone to know that you spent a weekend with someone who isn't your boyfriend and more importantly someone who isn't of the opposite sex."
Kristie nodded, but still didn't say anything. She didn't even chase after the girl when she left like she had done before.
She jumped onto her bed and wrapped herself in the covers, rolling over to where Rachel had slept next to her the previous night.
She got out her phone and clicked on one of the contacts.
"Sammy? I messed up again and I have no fucking clue what to do...."
Look, don't get me wrong
I know there is no tomorrow
All I ask is
If this is my last night with you
Hold me like I'm more than just a friend
Give me a memory I can use
Take me by the hand while we do what lovers do
It matters how this ends
'Cause what if I never love again?
•End of flashback•
It felt as though Kristie was sat there for hours at Rachel's kitchen table before she actually mustered up the courage to walk upstairs to her bedroom.
Breathing in deeply, Kristie knocked on the door and she shifted back when she heard shuffling from the inside.
"Come in."
She took another breath before opening the door and then shutting it behind her.
Rachel now looked as though she had done 10 rounds with Mike Tyson but in Kristie's eyes she'd never looked more beautiful.
She could see Rachel was still crying, trying her hardest to get rid of the tears that seemed to be falling uncontrollably. Kristie walked over to the bed and sat down next to her, pulling the other girl into her arms.
"Rach, listen to me. I love you. I loved you a year ago but I was so fucking scared. I'd never loved another girl before and the whole concept of loving you seemed completely bizarre. It was totally foreign and something I'd never had to deal with before. Going back to Brandon seemed like an easy way out and it was the biggest mistake of my life. I should never have forgotten about you the way I did and I should have known who you were at the airport that day you came with Amber and Sarah to the airport. I should've known and I should've just ran into your arms like I'd always wanted. I'm so sorry I hurt you and I promise, I'm here for the long haul. And whether you like it or not, you're stuck with me."
Kristie finally managed to take a breath, but not before Rachel had crashed their lips together. Kristie only pulled away when she had to take another breath.
"I love you, Kris. I'm sorry I ever doubted you." Rachel said quietly, manoeuvring herself so that she was lying with her head on Kristie's chest.
"I love you, Princess Rachie..." Kristie smiled and kissed her head gently.
"Hey Kris?"
"Hmm?"
"Do you think you can buy me a years worth of Yorkshire Tea?"
"Shut up and go to sleep." She laughed, stroking Rachel's cheek gently as she fell asleep.
Kristie was sure nothing had ever felt so right and she was absolutely sure that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with Rachel.
YOU ARE READING
If I get my way
FanfictionRachel's never been good at controlling her emotions, and she soon discovers it's especially hard to deal with jealousy. Inspired by Little Mix's "If I Get My Way," which I'd highly recommend giving a listen.
