This Song Saved My Life (Amy Lee)

Chapter 2

*Amy's POV*

There wasn't really anything that I didin't hate about my life, but one thing that continued to push me closer and closer to the edge was how every single day was exactly like the last. Had it always been this way? Yes, but it seemed to me like it was getting even worse than before. It seemed like I had to fight just to find the strength I needed to get through the day. The week seemed to just drag on like trying to walk through miles of mud. Or quicksand.

I woke up on Friday morning to the sound of Can You Feel My Heart by Bring Me the Horizon blaring into my ears out of my cell phone that sat on the pillow right next to my head. I turned it off, put on my iPod, set it to the song Bulls in the Bronx by Pierce the Veil, maxing out on the volume, and after I brushed my teeth, I grabbed a can of Monster Energy from the fridge.

As I stood at the sink, splashing cold water on my face, the voices in my head decided to have a chat with me.

You're just like the girl in this song. Nobody cares about you, one said to me.

The voice of Vic Fuentes echoed in my mind, bouncing around in my skull like those ugly little grasshoppers that creep the everlasting shit out of me. "I really hope you enjoy the show, because for me it's just a bad day," I heard him sing. More like a bad life, I corrected him. I'd be singing the Hallelujah Chorus instead of this song if it was just a bad DAY. He replied to me with, "I'm sorry, I can't see that you truly love me." The real difference between me and the girl in the song was that she actually had people that loved her, unlike me. Nobody had ever even tried to convince me they loved me.

For a minute, I let myself ponder some of these thoughts that were swimming in my head. Did I really have what it took to end it all tonight? It was true that I didn't want to wait for that down set date, whenever that might be fated to come, but I didn't think I was really capable of taking the steps to actually end my own life. But oh, how good it sounded to not have to face any more tomorrows. To not have to keep living in a world I didn't have what it took to really LIVE in, a world that had no place for me. It's not like I would even be missed.

I pushed those thoughts out of my mind as I brushed on some dark grey eyes shadow and finished it off with black eyeliner and mascara. Then I closed my door and put on a My Chemical Romance shirt from their Black Parade era, with a grey long-sleeved shirt underneath to hide my scarred arms, black skinny jeans, black Chuck Taylors', and a grey beanie.

As I grabbed my bags and walked out the door, throwing away my empty Monster can on the way, I tried to push all thoughts of death and suicide far from my mind. I didn't need to be thinking about things like that right now.

After all, I had an interview to go to.

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*Josh's POV*

The atmosphere at Doylie's was quiet and subdued, so I got my homework out and tried to work on some of it. I glanced over at Erynn to see if she would show any signs of disapproval but couldn't pick up on anything. The blond could be a bit annoying, but she did seem fairly nice(albeit in a fairly fake way but who knew?) and that was all that really mattered. And her parents did own the place, so I didn't want to piss her off. I really did need this job, after all.

I pictured Amy's face in my mind. So unique and beautiful, so deliciously different from the girl that sat beside me behind the checkout counter. In class earlier, I couldn't seem to seem to stop my eyes from flitting back to where this curiously troubled angel was sitting every now and again.

But today, something else chased those thoughts out of my head just as quickly as they had planted themselves there. A different face, one not new and exciting, but heartbreakingly familiar, appeared in my mind as if she was really standing in front of me right there in the bookstore, shaking her head as she witnessed the pathetic little life I was living, now that it was just me. Don't you remember me, she seemed to be asking. What are you doing, Josh?

Oh baby, don't you know I could never forget about you?, I thought. I love you, Lucy, I love you so much. I'm coming for you darling, I promise.

All these were words I knew she would never get to hear me say, because she was no longer around to hear them. And then another face, one I would never get to see, entered my mind. One that would've had ten tiny fingers and ten tiny toes. The perfect baby. I'd never get to see her mother again, and I'd never see her at all. These thoughts entered back into the mind they had oh so briefly abandoned, and all of a sudden, I felt terribly guilty for entertaining thoughts of getting to know Amy.