Romantically Not (BL/BxB)

Chapter 5

    Hindi maalis ang tingin ni Charles sakin while we were sitting down across each other. He has this look of a kid na binigyan ng kendi ng kanyang kindergarten teacher. I don't know why but its seems cute. Pero seryoso parin ang tingin na binibigay ko sa kanya.

    "Kumusta ka naman after college? Maliban sa nalaman kong cum laude ka noong grumaduate ka, hindi na kita nakita pa muli. I was third year when you graduated." tanong niya sakin while he was trying to drink the wine that was served to us by the waiter.

    "I was accepted in Pantheon Builders as their Intern for half a year. Tapos inabsorb na nila ako later on after I passed the licensure exams." kalmado kong sagot sa kanya while not taking my eyes off of him.

     "Alam mo.. Noong una kitang makita noong college, I was a freshman and you were a sophomore. It was the foundation day of the University. You were serving as a waiter in your booth that night at ako naman ay nagcostume bilang isang easter bunny."

    While he was telling me that story ay bigla kong naalala ang araw na iyon. I was wearing a white long sleeves at may ribbon ako sa kwelyo and I was so skinny that time. But people keep staring at me and asking their orders and some girls will be winking at me na kinaasiwa ko lang.

    "Ang daming gustong makuha ang attention mo that time. I didn't know how cool you are until I found out that you were friends with River Yoon."

    Nang sabihin niya ang pangalan na iyon ay napatigil ang aking paghinga bigla. I thought about that night. Iyong gabing muntik ko nang maamin kay River ang totoo kong nararamdaman. He was drunk at that time at inalalayan ko siya patungo sa kanyang dorm room. He was screaming so loud about someone na hindi ko naman kilala.

    "You were so cute back then.. Parang araw-araw gusto ko lang makita ka while you were reading in the bench of the soccer field. Or minsan naman sa library ng University. Or even the rooftop of the main building."

   "Wait? You were stalking me back in college?" tanong ko sa kanya pero tumawa lang siya ng mahina.

    "Hey.. Don't look at it the wrong way. Gusto lang talaga kitang makita everyday. Ikaw yung motivation ko back in college." nakangiti niyang sagot sakin pero I was seriously looking at him.

    He really is something. Iyon bang pinagsamang inosente ngunit alam mong may bad side din ito. That's how I see him.

     "I just wanted to let you know how much I wanted to be with you even before. Natotorpe lang talaga ako. Hindi ko naman kasi alam that you like men."

      "Charles.. I want to thank you for saving my life back then. And as much as I want to open up my heart towards you. I think I can't do it." deritsahan kong sagot sa kanya.

    Napatigil lang siya sa kanyang pagngiti at napalitan ito ng seryosong mukha.

     "You are a good guy.. And I appreciate that. Pero ayokong sayangin ang panahon mo."

     "Bakit? May mahal ka na ba? Are you seeing someone?"

     Umiling lang ako sa kanya at tiningnan ko siya ng maiigi. He has this scared look in his eyes na para bang takot siyang mawala ako. The look that River never given me back then. The look that I've always wanted to have.

     "Wala.. I just don't want to lead you on. Wala akong nararamdaman para sa'yo."

     "Then let me prove to you that I love you? Alam kong wala kang nararamdaman para sakin but I will do my best to earn your love. Just don't push me away."

    Napahinga ako ng malalim at hindi ko alam kung ano pa ang isasagot sa kanya. He just look at me nervously.

     "Sino ba iyang nasa puso mo at nahihirapan kang tanggapin ang ibang tao? Is it someone that you have loved for a very long time?"