It was me all along ~ Jacklyn

Chapter 10

POV Jack

When Mikey and Harvey come out of the building after showering and changing I let Andy hug them first so when I go into Harvey's arms it doesn't seem strange when I linger there. Harvey just accepts a bit of my weight as I nuzzle into his neck telling him he did great and seeking comfort in Harvey's strong arms around my shoulders. Harvey doesn't know what's wrong with me, I usually never do this, but after the hug, he keeps an arm around my shoulders as if it's his choice not to let go. The others don't see my hands under Harvey's jacket fisted around his sweatshirt.

Harvey smiles down at me as they stand side by side facing the other four but there is a question in his eyes. I just smile in response. Harvey probably just thinks I've to have social anxiety about Rye, Sonny and Brook or something. He doesn't know that Brook makes me feel more comfortable than he has in a long time and it's impossible not to get along with Rye and Sonny but I can't exactly say 'I'm nervous because I don't know how to hide my diet from you' so I let Harvey think whatever will keep his arm around my shoulders.

Harvey turns his smile to the others and I smile a little brighter. "Harv and Mikey, this is Brook, Sonny and Rye," I say. Harvey does not remove his right arm from around my shoulders, because true to form he'd rather share a ridiculously awkward left-handed handshake than let go of me when he can sense that I need him. Brook is eyeing them a little but he smiles warmly and shakes. I know the dynamic between the 4 of them is confusing as fuck for an outsider but I can't bring myself to care at the moment. Brook will figure it out if he wants to be an addition if he wants to fit somewhere. Maybe Rye and Sonny too, I will have to see.

"Good meeting ya," Sonny says. "Yeah mate," Brook and Rye agree. "Great game," Rye adds. "Thanks," Harvey says, bashfully. "That third goal was sick!" Sonny says enthusiastically to Mikey. We go off on a tangent, Harvey, Mikey, Rye, Sonny and Andy talking about the game and it's a moment before I realise Brook isn't in the conversation. When I raise my head from where it was pressed alongside Harvey's neck I catch Brook's eyes on me. Brook offers a shy smile and I return it, taking in the way Brook stands with his hands in the pockets of his impossibly tight jeans, shoulders a little hunched.

"Oh and Mikey and Harvey, we're taking you out for an early dinner to celebrate!" Andy says excitedly. I break away from Brook's gaze and look up to Harvey and Mikey. The look of surprise and utter joy on their faces would be comical if I didn't know how ridiculously genuine the reaction is. Their eyebrows shoot up and a grin splits their face and instantly they look at me confirming the statement. I brighten my smile a nod. "Yeah, we've got to treat our champ right," I say, pinching Harvey's side playfully and smile to Mikey and eliciting a laugh. "Wow thanks, guys," the lovebirds say at the same time. "Thanks," they add, quieter and Harvey's head pressed to my hair, just for me.

I hate that. I hate that they feel like they need to say a special thank you to me just for agreeing to go out for dinner with his friends. I hate that they are so surprised that we're treating them to a night out because they know that I would rather be at home. I hate that they don't know it's the food I hate, not the going out. I would go out every single night with them if I could just be with them and not have to worry about avoiding food.

I know I can't claim I'm not hungry because Andy knows I haven't eaten yet. I can't claim I'm not well or the three of them will swoop in and begin fawning over me, insisting they go home to play nurse and doctor. I can't show how much I'm panicking because then that smile will be off their faces in an instant and I don't want to do that, never want to do that to my Harvey and Mikey. I decide I need to get my shit together. I extricate myself from Harvey's side and clap my hands together.

"So where should we go eat?" I ask, faking excitement. Harvey and Mikey look at me, so sincerely excited for a dinner out. They're just like that, you could hand them a chewed up an old pencil and tell them it was a gift and they'd still look at you as a kid on Christmas. I let Mikey and Harvey bicker about where to go until Rye finally exclaims that he hasn't eaten all day and is dying and we decide on the little greek restaurant downtown.