Sex Tape [Hemmings]

fourty

Jo

     "Johanna, was it?" I found myself gulping, my head quickly managing a simple nod. I had felt bitter. Sick to my stomach, at any moment I would throw up all that was washed up inside of me. My head was spinning, the room a complete blur, and yet the doctors words seemed to come out clear.

"I've looked over your scans," he paused, which felt much longer then any regular second ever did. "Your injuries were lethal, Miss Smith." A sigh escaped his lips, a whimper from my own. "But we did find something rather unusual."

Again, with the word but. I hadn't thought it meant any good, but in this situation, it may have. "Johanna, were you aware that you were not only pregnant with one child, but two?"

The second I left the hospital I came back to what I believed to be an empty house, and shut my self in the bathroom while drawing a warm bath. The water had seemed to relax my muscles and calm my aching body, but I could not stop thinking about the doctor. And Luke.

I had tried clearing my head by resting my neck against the edge of the tub, letting the warm water soak over my body and let me fall lightly into a sleep. I was then awoken by the door swinging open, and my hands flew across my chest, which soon were uncovered by Luke.

Instead of speaking, he sat next to the tub, his arms hanging slightly over the rim which hung above the water.

I found my self unable to clear my mind, and I wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing. Instead, I began to speak, hoping to get some sort of closure from Luke. "I don't think I can put you through this anymore." I mimicked, Luke's pale forehead falling against the chipped white rim.

I awaited in silence as Luke's fingertips ran across the warm water, trailing them up my arm and wounding them behind my neck. They stayed like that for a moment before running back down my damp arm, and repeated the process.

"Tell me I'm a good boyfriend. Tell me I deserve to be with you." His voice was harsh, almost like the look on his face. "You can't," He cut me off before I could even speak, and frankly, I didn't know myself if I could say he was a good boyfriend.

I loved Luke, but that didn't mean he treated me right, and that was exactly what he meant.

"You can't tell me those things because it's a lie. Everything between us is one big lie. I love you, Jo. I love you more then anything, but this isn't fair to you. This isn't fair to us." I just nodded, Luke's touch sending shivers up my bruised spine.

"I wan't to fix things. To start over," I had taken the time to glance at Luke, barely noticing he was dressed in a suit, looking as if he was attending a wedding, or a funeral. "I thought we were starting over, Luke. All this, we came here to start over."

Again his fingers traced tiny patterns on my skin, this time an inch away from my breast, sending chills over my warm body. "And is it working?" My eyes clamped shut, the vivid thought of Luke ending things hear sending my heart in a panic.

"I can't stand the fact that when your around me you get hurt. Ever since I met you Jo, things have been brighter for me but it's suer as hell not the same for you and I can't stand that. It hurts more then you'd think." Luke kept a straight face, and I was surprised to say I did the same.

"I can't be with you, unless we fix things." I was confused, considering Luke had seemed to be completely fine with our relationship from the beginning, where I might add Luke wasn't the nicest. "Your like, a best friend, but more. Your the one person in the world that knows me better then anyone else, even after knowing me for such a short time. It's you who makes me a better person. You inspire me." Luke's pale hand grabbed mine, his thumb running softly over my knuckles.

"A soul mate is someone who your carry with you forever. It's the one person who knew you and accepted you and believed in you before anyone else did, or when no one else would. No matter what happens, I'll always love you. Nothing can ever change that, and that's why I just can't let you go so easily." A smile formed on my slightly swollen lips, causing one to appear on Luke's.

"Make sense? Probably not. This whole time nothing has made sense but you, Johanna. Your the only good in my life, and I need to keep that close. You make me a better person, and I need to be the same for you. We can't continue like this." his free hand ran through his quiff, his tongue running over his lips.

"You have to help me, Johanna." He paused. "You have to work with me here, or we won't get anywhere. I can't be with you. Not unless you tell me who did this to you." My mouth gaped open, shock running through my blood.

One second, Luke was sweet and innocent. The next, he showed who he truly was, and I pity myself for being surprised.

"What does that have to do with anything?" I whispered, the warm water not seeming to work quite as well then it had been five minutes ago. "You could have died!" Luke's voice rose in anger, his pale face becoming dark. "You could have died and I wasn't there to protect you like I should have been. What kind of boyfriend am I?" He chuckled hoarsely, which was complete and utter sarcasm.

"When you tell me who beat you up, that problem can be solved. We can work our way from there, but we start no where until then, Johanna." It was almost funny to believe Luke was sappy seconds ago, because at the state he was at now, nice and calm was miles and miles away.

"Until then." Luke's plump lips emitted a whisper, before simply placing a kiss to my damp forehead, his large hand running smoothly through my hair before his back was faced towards me, heading out the door.

"If what we had, Luke." I sighed. "If what we had was real, how could you be fine?" A single tear fell down my face, barely noticeable over the dark colours that blended over my skin. Luke didn't bother to look back at me when he spoke. He just said it. Walking out the door his voice cracked, which was a sign of failure, something Luke didn't seem to ever endure.

"I'm not fine at all."

With that Luke was gone, and I didn't get the chance to tell him I loved him. I didn't get the chance to tell him Michael did this without regretting it later on or scared to say so, and I didn't get to tell Luke our baby died, but we did have another.

We had twins, but we were having a baby. Luke and I were having a baby.