unexpected - mena massoud

7.

Embarrassment. That's all I felt. I regret taking him back. I know he's changed but I was ready for that part of my life to be over. I was ready for a new start. I felt embarrassed because I know when Mena finds out, he'll think I'm weak. I know I am but I don't want to face it. It's been a week now and I've only talked to Naomi. I've talked to Mena when I have to but we haven't hung out since that night. Naomi and I have grown closer. I told her about the whole situation.
"I think you should talk to him. I know Mena. And I know he would never look down on you." She said.
"I just don't know. He was there. He saw how terrified I was when Josh was there. He would wonder how the hell I went from that to being back with him." I said, setting down the eyeshadow brush and spritzing her face with setting spray.
"He won't judge you. I promise. But please, just talk to him." She got up, gave me a hug, and walked out of my trailer. This past week has been interesting to say the least. Josh and I have been hanging out a lot. Almost every day. We've gone to the movies, I've cooked us dinner, and we've spent the night together a couple of times. I'm not going to lie, it's nice having him in my life again. Something still feels off, but I promised I'd give him a chance and I'm sticking to that promise.

I heard a knock on the trailer and that all too familiar voice on the other side.
"Can I come in?" He called.
"Yah." I said back. He walked in, wearing his Aladdin costume.
"Hey." He smiled.
"Hi." I said, looking down. He sat in my makeup chair and I started on his foundation. It was quiet for a while until Mena spoke up.
"Can I be honest with you?" He asked, shifting in his seat. It caught me off guard. I took the beauty blender off of his face and set it down. Leaning against the vanity, I tucked my hair behind my ear, looking down and then crossing my arms.
"Um. Yah. Of course." I shook my head.
"I've been thinking about that night ever since it happened and I have so many questions. Like, who was that? Why was he talking to you like that? And most of all, why did you ask me to leave?" He sighed and looked anywhere but my face.
"I was trying to protect you; make sure you were okay, but you wouldn't let me. I care about you a lot, El. You're an amazing girl and an amazing friend but you don't open up easily and it's frustrating." He finally looked up into my eyes and I took a shaky breath and looked away, trying to hold back my tears.
"Can I just finish your makeup and we can talk about this later? You can come to my house or something but I don't want to talk about this right now, Mena. I'm sorry." He sighed and nodded.

The day went by quickly. I finished Mena's makeup and Guy told me I could go home. Before I left, Mena asked if he could come over after filming; around 4. It was an early day for them. I told him that was fine and went home. When I reached my house, I saw Josh's car parked on the side of the street. I pulled into the driveway, letting out a breath I didn't know I was holding. Walking into my house through the garage door, I heard the television. Josh must be watching something. I walked into the living room and sure enough he was watching 'Friends'. He whipped his head around and smiled at me.
"Hey baby." He got up and came over to give me a kiss. It was a sloppy one, but a kiss nonetheless.
"Hi." I murmured.
"Can we go for lunch? I'm starving." He said. I laughed.
"Sure. Let me just put my hair up."  I walked upstairs and into the bathroom, looking at myself in the mirror. I had bags under my eyes, my hair was a mess, and my skin was pale. I sighed and pulled my hair away from my face and up into a ponytail. I walked back downstairs and Josh grabbed my hand, leading me out of the house. He drove us to the local diner and we sat down at a booth in the corner.

After we ordered, he spoke up.
"So who was that guy you were with last week?" He questioned, taking a sip of his drink.
"Uh. His name's Mena." I said looking down at my fingers, starting to pick at the purple gel polish; something I do when I'm nervous.
"And? What were you doing with him?" He started to become impatient.
"He was just giving me a ride home from set. My car broke down. That's it." I lied. My car was in the garage so he couldn't see it that night. Hopefully he buys my story.
"Mhmm. Well I don't want you hanging around him anymore. If you need a ride anywhere, you call me, got it?" I stayed silent and kept picking at my nails. I felt his hand grip my wrist and pull it away from my other hand.
"Got it, El?" My eyes widened as I looked up at him.
"Yah. I got it." I said.

After our food came and we ate, I paid for mine and him, his and we headed back to my house. Once we reached it, he dropped me off and went home. I opened my front door and went upstairs, into my room. I was exhausted. By now it was twelve-thirty in the afternoon and I was ready to take a nap. So that's what I did. I laid down and closed my eyes, forgetting to set an alarm. I woke up to my phone ringing. I picked up without looking at the caller ID.
"Hello?" I answered with a weak voice.
"Hey. I've been knocking but you haven't answered. Everything okay?" Mena.
"Yah. I was taking a nap. Sorry, I'll be down in a minute." I fixed my hair really quick and went downstairs, opening the door for him. He wore a white cotton shirt, blue jeans, and brown boots.
"Hi." I said weakly.
"We can go up into my room." I led him upstairs and opened my door. Luckily my room was clean and I didn't have anything embarrassing laying around.

I sat on my bed towards the wall with my legs crossed and he sat on the edge with his hands on his thighs, feet touching the floor.
"So, um, go ahead and ask anything. I'll try my best to answer."
"Who is he?" He asked quickly, not looking at me.
"My boyfriend. His name's Josh." I answered, starting to pick at my nails once more.
"If he's your boyfriend, then why did you tell him to leave you alone?" He questioned.
"We weren't together at that moment but we are now." I shrugged.
"Why'd you ask me to leave?" He looked into my eyes. All I could see was hurt.
"He can get violent. He doesn't like me being around other guys and he has a reputation for beating up any guy who so much glances at me." I stopped for a moment before continuing.
"I didn't want you to get hurt." He shook his head and ran a hand through his straightened hair.
"No, El. You don't get to decide that." I grew confused.
"Decide what, Mena?"
"Decide when I care for you and when I don't. I will always care for you. I will always be there for you. And if I want to protect you, then I will." He said sternly.
"There was nothing to protect me from, Meens." I said softly, trying to convince him that I was okay.
"Obviously there was because you were crying. I don't like seeing you cry." I looked away from his eyes.
"Meens, I swear it was okay. It's still okay. I'm okay." I emphasized.
"Are you sure?" He looked at me with sad eyes.
"Promise." I smiled, reassuringly. Not just for him, but for myself. He didn't press any further. We stayed in my room and talked for a little while before we decided it was best that he leave since we have work in the morning.
"Well I'll see you tomorrow." He said, hands in pockets.
"Yah. I'll see you tomorrow." I wrapped my arms around his neck and gave him a tight hug. He quickly brought his hands around my waist and hugged me back.
"Bye." I said, pulling away and opening the door.
"Bye, El." He smiled, walking out and getting into his car. As soon as I closed the door, I ran up to my room. I lied right to his face. I'm not okay. Josh was holding me again and I let him. I let the bastard trick me.

What am I going to do?

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Kenzie

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