101 Men

The Marina

I met Danny at a mattress party. And before you get your panties all hot and tangled, I live in San Francisco. This isn't the New York sex scene, nor was it even remotely close to a sex scene. It didn't stop my eyes from screaming "fuck me on this mattress damn it."

But I digress.

I met Danny at a store opening party for a mattress company in San Francisco's Marina District.  The land of Patagonia, Lululemon, and white girls as far as the eye can see. Here you'll find Chad, Thad and Brad chatting AI, the next big startup idea, their recent bout with veganism, and how they're contemplating ghosting the girl they met on Tinder (who by the way couldn't even care less). They're in matching boat shoes and have blood type douchebag coursing through their veins.

I wish I could say Danny was different, but I have a penchant for the Marina type and I couldn't help myself. It's like sticking candy in front of a baby, or breast milk because babies don't eat candy and I'm not sure why that phrase was invented to begin with, it's totally illogical. When Danny walked into the mattress party, it was all over. My eyes narrowed in like a huntress does her prey. He was in gym clothes, a little sweaty, and looked as confused as ever. He was blonde, blue eyed and ripe for the taking. I knew exactly what I was going to say when he made his way past me, his arm gently brushing mine.

"Did we match on Hinge?" I said, flickering my green eyes at his mouth, and back up to match his gaze.

He turned to me and laughed. Good, he thinks I'm funny in a nonthreatening way. Boys love funny girls.

"I think I would remember if we did," he said, casting a knowing smile my way.

Good answer. I had him. It was so easy I laughed a little under my breath. Boys are stupid.

"Oh, I know you'd remember me, but I'm a little pissed you never reached out, afraid your girlfriend would find out?" I teased.

He laughed and said "Believe me if we matched I would've talked to you."

"So does that mean that we're together now?" I said.

He laughed again. I think he didn't know how to handle a girl like me. I was brazen in my approach, I didn't hold back, and I loved a good back and forth, the endless teasing. But alas, like his fellow Marina brethren, Danny was all tuckered out. We exchanged phone numbers, and that was that. Easy come, easy go. There's practically a dispensary for Marina men.