Nightfire | The Whispering Wall #1

Forty Two: The Hallow Festival

To her credit, Grace's pause was minute. "It's like a display of historical artefacts. For preservation and so that public can come and see it. They're fascinating. I suppose you don't have them here."

"Artefacts are kept in the temples," Nova said. "Or the lord has them in his vaults."

"Of course he does," Grace muttered. She did a good job of sounding offhand, but she couldn't hide the disappointment in her aura.

"He spends a lot of time in the city in the dark season," Nova said, questioning the wisdom of what she was about to suggest even as she was suggesting it. "Sometimes you can convince Jan to open the vault door while he's out. If you ask nicely and don't touch anything."

She turned as Grace finished lacing her dress. Her heart jumped at the excitement on Grace's face and she hated herself for it. She'd been here – exactly here – before, and look where it got her. As if she had picked up on the direction of Nova's thoughts, Grace's smile faded a little. Cheeks pink, she reached over and tucked a flyaway strand of Nova's hair back behind her ear. Her skin tingled at the touch and she rocked on the spot, torn between stepping away and stepping forward.

"I feel like I've been pressuring you," Grace said. Her mouth twisted into a tiny frown. "We can take things as slow as you want to."

Nova blinked. "What things?"

The pink deepened to red. "You know...us. I mean... I don't know, I just thought...."

She trailed off. Nova didn't know how to make things better, so she stood as awkwardly as ever and watched Grace grow increasingly agitated.

"Do you feel anything for me, Nova?" Grace finally asked. "Because I really don't know where I stand anymore. Do you... Did that night mean anything more than just...."

"Angels do not desire sex in the way humans do," Nova said carefully, aware of what was hanging on how she answered. "For us it isn't a physical need, but linked strongly to emotion and connection with another being. If there is no connection with our partner, we get nothing out of it."

Grace thought about that for a moment. "I suppose that is a yes, then. In a way."

"I don't think..." Nova said, haltingly. "I don't know...if I have what you want. If I can give you what you want." She glanced at the door. "In any sense."

Grace's hand brushed hers, but she appeared to think better of taking it. "I don't know what I want." Her expression was troubled. "I don't know where my life is going. I don't know whether I will ever see my parents or my friends again, and I feel like I'm losing my brother to something I don't understand. But I know I like this. I like...spending time with you. And I would like to keep doing so, if you do. I just want to know that I'm not making you feel like you have to."

Nova wanted to do something to make things better. In another life she might have embraced Grace, kissed her, known the right thing to say – this was not that life.

"I...like this, too," she said. "But I can't promise that...that it'll be good for you."

Grace's mouth was against hers and her back was against the dresser. She wanted to resist, but at the same time desperately didn't. Her hands hovered, uncertain, near Grace's waist. She was already too far in. She couldn't have friends. She hadn't had friends for years. She knew she couldn't, but Grace's aura was already growing too familiar to her, the resolve and the determined fire in it like a bulwark.

She was almost relieved when she sensed someone approaching, separating them so she didn't have to – she wasn't sure she could.

"Someone's coming," she muttered, pushing Grace back and rearranging her skirts just as Jan walked in, already decked out in a purple gown she'd stitched herself. The housekeeper paused, blinked, and then arranged her features into a disapproving scowl.