Happy Trails

That's Love (John Marston)

Jack being taken was another strong dose of reality: nothing is sacred.

The gang is worked up into a tizzy, clearly unhappy about this direct attack on them, on an innocent boy who knew nothing about the mess the older members had kicked up. You had always felt this would end badly, but not this badly. You were packing up and moving on before you knew it, something you'd gotten better at doing quickly the past few months, and arrived at Shady Belle shortly afterwards, your new home to avoid the Pinkerton's.

You hadn't talked to John much since his boy went missing, it didn't feel right, to bother him when something so serious was going on. You might be his lover but you weren't the mother of his child, something you felt had always been a wedge between you. It was selfish to think Jack being kidnapped might throw him back into Abigail's arms, it wasn't about their relationship, it was about poor Jack and what might happen to him should none of you reach him in time. You wanted him to come back, to be safe, so things could return to how they'd been, but you know that was impossible at this point.

Besides, things had to change, John had to grow up, and this was the perfect thing to do it.

While wandering around the camp during the evening hours, you find John out on the balcony, staring into the trees with a vacant look on his face. He'd barely remember to eat if you or others around didn't remind him, and you were surprised to even see him around; he was normally out scouring Saint Denis with Arthur and Dutch, looking to find a lead on Angelo Bronte's location. You were sure it wouldn't stay secret for long, not with how hard those three were looking, but still. With how much John was lamenting his treatment of his son, you didn't expect to have the chance to see him at all.

You take a few steps towards him before stopping short, wondering if you should even bother him. It was odd, not talking to him for days like this, and there was an ache in your heart; you missed him, even if you understood the situation and what it was taking out of him. John hears you before you can retreat, turning to glance at you before letting out a deep sigh and removing himself from the balcony.

"Is, uh, is this a bad time?"

"Good a time as any."

You take a seat on the ground behind him, leaning against the wall and staring up at him as you wait for him to continue. You didn't really have anything to say, nothing that could make the situation better, so you opted to stay silent unless he wanted to talk to you.

Turns out, he did.

"I've just been so pathetic lately." He finally admits, head in his hands. "To Jack, to Abigail... All of this is just making me realize... it ain't right. The way I've been acting."

"Yeah, you have been pretty awful." You weren't going to lie to him, to sugarcoat it now would just be an insult to him, and he takes your words in stride. He'd probably heard the same thing ten times over, worse, from Abigail herself. He stands up straight, gripping the balcony tightly before turning around and seating himself beside you. "This all... it ain't your fault, my love."

You hadn't used a pet name in a while, normally only bringing it out for special occasions, but this seemed to be one of them. In fact, you hadn't even realized you did it before you repeated back what you said in your head, flinching. He probably didn't even want to think about his romantic situation, it just made it all more complicated.

John gives a weak smile, shaking his head, "I don't know how you put up with me, after all I've done... the way I've acted."

"Me? You're lucky Abigail hasn't put a bullet in you yet." Seeing as he didn't reject your loving name, you reach over to pat his thigh; he quickly takes the opportunity to grab your head, and you fear he might be swatting you away from him. Instead, he laces his fingers with yours and squeezes.

"Don't know what I'd do without you knockin' some sense into me."

"I think this whole thing knocked more sense into you than me and Abigail combined." You lean against him and he mirrors your movement, gently nuzzling his head against yours. "You can be a good dad to him, John, you've got time. We're gonna get that little boy back."

"I hope so."