↬ my moon ↫ WOOCHAN

╰☆☆ Oᖴ ᖴᖇᗩGIᒪITY ᗩᑎᗪ ᗯEᗩKᑎEᔕᔕ ☆☆╮

chan didn't have the strength to talk to woojin right now.

he didn't have the strength to show all of his failings, vulnerabilities, and weaknesses to the one he admired most.

heaving his bag further up his aching back, chan dragged his overcast thoughts to a bridge not far from minho's apartment and sat down, allowing his heavy legs to swing over the side of the weary wooden walkway.

as usual, his stifling thoughts turned their attention to woojin.

chan loved how he was so direct, open, honest.

honestly, chan couldn't stop naming things he adored about the boy.

downcast thoughts significantly lighter, chan reached into his backpack and grabbed his chemistry work.

while he couldn't give himself or woojin an answer to any of the questions screaming from his mind, he resolved to answer the questions screaming from the worksheet.

he grinned as he caught a glimpse of the neat header in his book:

dynamic equilibrium.

☀

woojin cried quietly.

chan had slipped out of his arms, just like that.

everything had been perfect, he was sure the kiss wasn't too sexual and he could swear that chan wasn't uncomfortable just minutes beforehand.

what had changed?

what had he done wrong?

woojin would never intentionally hurt chan, but he was beginning to believe that he was slowly tearing down every little detail he had fixed into his and chan's perfect story.

he didn't know everything about chan, but he understood enough to realize that chan surely wouldn't be alone in the state he was left in.

both jisung and minho were unresponsive, and the bright boy had darkened considerably. 

his grins had fallen like buildings ablaze and his eyelids had the same effect to his eyes as a fire blanket had to flames.

tears of worry had doused the flammable heart of this young boy, and he was afraid to set it alight again.

it had burned so hard, for months now.

maybe, if he wasn't what chan wanted he would just...

he could just...

give up.

not on chan, for it was inconceivable that woojin would give up on chan.

but his love for chan, if that was insufficient, he could just drop it.

he could leave it to smoulder.

if a fire isn't taken care of, it eventually burns out, correct?

why were his feelings so different?

they weren't, right?

so why did he continue to nurture them?

 why did he continue to imagine how chan would feel, wrapped in his arms each morning?

why did he endure the pain of fabricating situations never to arise each night?

why did he let a hopeless spark flower into an enthusiastic inferno?

it was almost as if woojin couldn't hear his howling thoughts.

he liked the fire and revelled in the fever it brought.

he was curious.

he had always wanted to hold a burning torch to the dark side of the moon and beg for its secrets.

now he had the chance, he ignored the suggestion that he may let it go.

*☆*――*☆*――*☆*――*☆*――*☆*――*☆*――*☆*――*☆*

random update because i love you <3

stream wave by limesoda, it's so g o o d .

happy birthday to jimin!

sorry it's not that great, i'll edit later!

watch out for more surprise updates because i'm hoping to finish this before mocks :)

have a good day/night and get some rest if it's past 10pm you doofuses.