Counterfeit Boyfriend

A Proposition

"Umm... I have a lot of work to do before the end of the day," Magnus tried to drop a hint.

"Oh yes, of course!" Camille said quickly. "We will just have to meet this new man of yours at the staff party on Saturday then."

Before he could tell her no, indeed before he could even open his mouth to speak, she'd turned and left the office, giving him not even the slightest chance to rebuke her claims. As the door clicked behind her, Magnus hung his head down on his desk and asked himself how the hell he'd gotten into such a ridiculous situation. After all, he was a smart guy. Law degree, passed the bar, practicing lawyer and all that; yet somehow this stupid women had the power to turn him into an idiot.

Lifting his head, Magnus banged it once on the desk. Then again. It was satisfying, but he didn't feel any better. Thug... thud... thud. Magnus almost missed the knock on his door. Dreading seeing her beautiful, pale passive-aggressive face once again, Magnus didn't look up right away.

"Who is it?" he called, his voice dull.

"That depends," the voice replied. "Who exactly are you trying to avoid?"

Smiling with relief, Magnus got up to let his friend Ragnor into the room. Ragnor was a tall man with light red hair, and a fondness for the colour green. Magnus could not remember the last time the man had worn a tie of any other colour. Ragnor had worked at the firm longer than Magnus and was quite a few years older, but despite this, the two men got along very well and had been good friends since the day they'd met. When Magnus had first been hired here, it had been Ragnor that showed him the ropes.

"Who died?" Ragnor asked upon seeing the look on Magnus's face.

"My self-respect," Magnus replied.

"Ouch," Ragnor said sympathetically. Then he sat down in the seat usually taken by clients, and asked Magnus what was going on. Magnus recounted the entire ordeal for his friend, then returned his energies to banging his head on desk. Thud... thud... thud.

"You are going to get brain damage if you keep that up," Ragnor told him.

"Nah," Magnus said. "Just a bruise I can't explain."

"Forehead is not a typical place for a hickey, I will admit," Ragnor chuckled. "Or do fictional boyfriends do it differently?"

"This isn't funny," Magnus whined.

"Oh, come on," Ragnor sighed. "You've been broken up, what, like a week?"

"Since Monday," Magnus muttered.

"Oh geez, that woman works quickly," Ragnor replied. "If only she wasn't such a good paralegal, then maybe you could get her fired."

"Urg!" Magnus groaned. "Stupid woman, and her stupid hot boy toy."

"I suppose that would be even worse for you," Ragnor observed thoughtfully. "Since you can probably appreciate how hot her boy toy is."

"Not helping," Magnus whined.

"Anyway, what was I going to say?" Ragnor started up again. "Oh right. It's been less than a week, so it's not like she's expecting you to be in a serious relationship. All you have to do is get one for the office party. Easy."

"Her relationship seems serious enough," Magnus grumbled under his breath.

"I give up," Ragnor laughed. "I'm done with clients for the day and leaving early. Care to join me?"

"I promised I'd get coffee with Catarina," Magnus explained. "I'm meeting her at five."

"Suit yourself," Ragnor smiled. "Good luck."