Descent [MC:SM]

6: to carry the world on your chest

Jesse shifted at the sound of his voice. "I mean, I guess. Giant snakes are new, but apart from feeling a little tired and dizzy I don't exactly feel poisoned. It's not like this is the worst thing we've ever faced."

Lukas had the growing fear that it was, but not for the whole team. Just for Jesse. 

He knew he shouldn't underestimate Jesse-- he'd learned his lesson during the Witherstorm adventure, which was a whole other story to think about-- but he also knew Jesse could only handle so much before he broke. So far he'd stayed resilient past the point Lukas thought was possible, but how much more could he take? How many adventures, how many life-threatening situations and how much emotional pain could he handle before he eventually. . . shattered. 

Lukas had seen people completely broken by pain and trauma, their spirits gone. He would lose himself if Jesse was turned into one of them.

"It's still stressful, and probably the most intense adventure we've had yet so far since the Portal Hallway."

Jesse nodded, still turned away from him.

"Is this about you attacking me back there?"

Jesse's gaze shot towards him. "What? I remember I pushed you, but. . . I attacked you?" It was clear he was upset, even more upset about the event than Lukas was. "Did I hurt you? What did I do? Was--"

Lukas waved him off. "I'll be fine, it was more of a scare than anything else." He didn't mention the possession or the fact Jesse would've killed him if the serpent hadn't intervened when it did. Those conversations would happen soon enough. Jesse didn't need to hear them while he was poisoned and tired.

"Do you want to show Ivor the artifact when he gets back?" 

Jesse took it out of his back pocket, rubbing his thumb over the sharp edges. "No, not yet. He may have answers, but I need to hear what happened at the temple first, need to try and make sense of it. Plus I need to bring Eli home from Nell and Em's place, talk to a group of neighbors about a land dispute with a well, the jail captain wants to talk to me about the consequences for a teen, that place is unorganized and in need of structure so we can have some sort of. . . protection in place as Beacontown's always been so small there's only been two deputies in charge besides us, and before that Gabriel--" 

He was spouting out a hundred words a minute and Lukas had trouble keeping up with his pace of mind. "Woah, hang on! That's a lot of things to do." 

Jesse raised his eyebrows. "It's my job. I do this stuff daily. I'm on my feet pretty much all the time." 

Lukas didn't know much about Jesse's daily going-ons. He knew Jesse was in some sort of awkward half-mayor stage, but wasn't completely sure how it worked, or what it entailed. He'd never asked since Jesse was gone much of the time, Lukas caught up in his own things, and he was starting to realize being mad at Jesse for being gone was becoming a stupid thing to get mad at with what Lukas was learning about his schedule.

"Oh."

He tried to think of something else to say to keep the conversation going, Jesse still turned away from him, facing the wall with his arms around his knees.

"Are you sure that's all that's bothering you?"

Jesse was completely silent for almost a full minute. All Lukas heard was the humming of redstone lamps on the ceiling, Jesse's feet tapping the counter still. Then he said: "Lukas, do you remember the Games?"

Lukas felt a chill go down his spine. 

Yes. Yes, he did. Of course he did.

Screaming and death and the pain, the instant scorching pain of every single one of his bones being shattered and crushed before he died. He would have nightmares about it for the rest of his life.