Newsie Oneshots

Finch - Nothing Could Ever Ruin It

Finch forgot what butterflies felt like. 

He mentioned it to a coworker who'd been married for years and the guy said that's just what happens. 

That shouldn't just be what happens should it? 

But it's fine because everything will be alright... and nothing could ever ruin this. 

Finch was in his mid twenties now and his friends were becoming architects and doctors and lawyers and he... wasn't. 

He wanted to be something, to total up to something. 

Perhaps he should go back to school, get a masters maybe then pursue his dreams. 

Tommy seemed unimpressed by the idea, he started making baby jokes and talked about buying a house. Finch didn't want a house or a baby though because he's wasn't the thing he wanted to be and he was already twenty five and thirty was a very big number that was getting scarily close. 

They still hung out and it was nice but Finch began to worry something was missing. 

Instead of letting it go this time, they went out on more dates, they went on adventures together, landing them in the strangest of situations and it was perfect. And nothing could ever ruin it. 

Finch went out running some more and he saw that boy again in the woods, there was something almost otherworldly about him, he stopped to catch his breath so Finch did as well. Finch struck up a conversation, the boy was smart and called Finch on his bullshit which he liked. 

Then he continued on running, and Finch pushed the guy out of his mind but now he remembered what butterflies felt like. 

He came home, cooked the same dish he'd had the night before and the night before that, he talked with Tommy about 'nothing much' except for the guy from work wanted to meet him. 

Finch vaguely implied that, that guy from work can get smacked over the head with a soggy baguette. 

They sat in awkward silence for a few minutes after that and then they watched some more tv and some more tv. 

They lived like this for another year, and it was fine, and nothing could ever ruin it, ever. 

Then Tommy screwed someone else. 

And Finch kicked him out. 

Then Finch realized, he was never going to wake up with Tommy again, laugh with him, take his clothes off again, or just kiss him again. 

Suddenly the apartment smelled like him in a way Finch never noticed before. 

Music was shit, food was shit, and everyone was shit no matter how nice they were.

He knew he'd made a terrible mistake. Nothing could ever ruin it and now everything was fucking ruined. 

Finch drank a lot of whiskey. 

He found himself unable to sleep for more than a few hours at a time. Someone mentioned Tommy had been hanging out with the guy from work... whatever his name was. 

His friends listened to his self pity politely because they'd all been through break ups. They offered plenty of comforting phrases such as 'plenty more fish in the sea' but Finch didn't really believe them because no one has ever loved anyone the way Finch loved Tommy. 

Tommy sent a few passive aggressive texts about getting a book of his back and they met up to hand it over. 

It felt good to see Tommy because Finch was over it now and he had no power over Finch whatsoever and he'll be moving on soon enough. 

Then they slept together again and Finch quickly realized what an idiotic mistake it was to break up with the boy. They carried on messing around for a while. Finch began to think about getting back together. 

Tommy made a few digs at him and Finch made a few back and suddenly Finch forgot about getting back together. 

They argued, Finch said horrible shit. 

The kind of shit he'd never imagined he'd say to his worst enemies. 

A few bottles of whiskey later and things were looking up. 

Finch met a boy on a train but couldn't stomach the idea of sleeping with someone other than Tommy. 

Finch got his masters in science journalism. Buttons told Finch about his sister's death and Finch dawned on the fact he has nothing to feel sad about whatsoever. 

Over time his friends volunteered their own break up stories and some were far far worse than Finch's and once again realized he had absolutely nothing to feel sad about. 

And subtly, so subtly he didn't even notice, Finch became himself again and one day out of nowhere the boy he met running, Albert, asked him out. 

Finch noticed a little birthmark on his neck but he didn't mention it. And then he stopped sleeping and eating and all the music he listened to was tied to Albert so much so that in twenty years he would hear the same song again and just for a split second he would be reminded of exactly how he felt back then.

Then music started to sound good again and food started to taste good again. 

Before long the two of them were hanging out every other day and Finch couldn't remember the last time he felt so alive. Is this what he was meant to be doing all along? Or is this just repeating the same dumb pattern again? god it felt incredible either way. This whole thing is just some stupid gamble but he doesn't care, he didn't care last time because right now he's sure of it more sure than anything ever and nothing could ever ruin it. 

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im so tired 

Yours Truly,

Alex Hask