n. a recurring thought that only seems to strike you late at night-an overdue task, a nagging guilt, a looming and shapeless future-that circles high overhead during the day, that pecks at the back of your mind while you try to sleep, that you can s...
we began with honesty let us end in it too -rupi kaur
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thunder. that's all i could hear, all i could see. no matter how tightly i closed my eyes, it would always be there. the soft crackle would hit my ears, a whine leaving my lips as my eyelids press closer together.
i could feel my hands ache as i grabbed at the ends of my blanket, tears falling down my eyes. i wanted nothing more then to disappear. the sudden crack of thunder makes me flinch, tears falling down my eyes harder.
where was iwaizumi? i could almost feel his arms around me, hugging me tightly. but that wasn't the case. i could feel my tears become slightly stronger, before i hear a soft knock at my door. i hiccup, before wrapping the blanket around the top of my head wordlessly.
"come in," i say softly, the thunder finally taking a soft break. my brother appears, a timid smile on his lips.
"he's on his way." he calmly announces, i can't help the soft smile that branches across my face. but then the lightening hits again, thunder soon following behind. i scream, pressing my head against the bed.
my brother sits on the other end of the bed, running his hand up and down comfortably across my back. in a hopeless cause to calm myself down i try to think of hajime, i try to think of everything we've done together, all the times oikawa's walked in on us kissing. i can remember the horror stricken look on his face, and for a second, it's all i can think about. i laugh quietly, but the moment is gone and the lightening is striking again, and god do i want nothing more then to dissipate. my brother can probably feel the absolute terror seeping out of my veins.
the door to my room opens for the second time, and standing soaked is hajime, terror standing across his features. i get up from my bed, leaving behind my blankets to run towards hajime. the thunder strikes and i try my best to ignore it, to not fall. to not seem weak in front of somebody so strong. before i know it i've made it into his arms, and he's kissing my head, holding me close.
"i'm sorry," hajime almost inaudibly says, and i only hold him closer. "i'm so so sorry."
"it's okay." i respond, crying into his sweater. he's running his hands up and down my back, trying his best to make me feel better.
"it's not okay. i knew it was gonna thunderstorm, i should've been here." he says, running his lips down towards my forehead, kissing it softly. "i want to protect you. i should've been here before it even started."
"it's okay, i promise." and this time, his lips are on mine. it's sweet, and careful. it's all i want and more. and it's perfect, and for a minute, that's enough.
"alright, that's it. i'm leaving. that's nasty!" my brother announces, slamming my door shut.
