Threads

Chapter 2

                          *Ivory*
Fuck. I hope she hasn't noticed I'm completely and utterly avoiding her. The thread freaks me out. I never thought I'd get one. I never wanted one. And I thought that made me crazy, but at least it was something I could keep to myself. The thing is, I have no romantic feelings for Ellie. Zilch. Nada. Or for that matter, I don't have romantic feelings for anyone. And I never have. I always thought it was a bit of a charade you put on with someone you were really good friends with and you found attractive. While Ellie ticks both those boxes, that's hardly what love actually means in the real world. Oh, and you're supposed to want to bang them. Which is a bit warped because to be honest half of people my age are just full of hormones, so it's not really exclusive,  if you get what I mean. I would just say exactly what I'm thinking, but Doctor Silver is going to be reading this. At therapy. Because my mum thinks I have issues. I actually don't. At least I met Doctor Silver, though. She's one of the few adults I actually trust.

It's Tuesday. I wake up to the sun streaming through the curtains. Today will be a good day, if I just manage to avoid Ellie. I'm going to have to talk to her eventually. I'm sure she'll be crushed. But I'm sure she's used to that by now. I've ignored the thread long enough.

I have Biology first. I'm an absolute science geek. I'm a geek in general. Hot, I know. When I'm nervous I absolutely ramble on about geeky stuff. And my personal life. I don't give other people much of a chance to speak. I guess I like to intimidate people with my attitude. Elliot said he'd meet me at the bus stop. I have to go.

So, update. I have a free class because our Maths teacher is out again. So like the weird person I am, I decided to write in my therapy journal. I have poetry club after school. I hope I'm not the only person going. Everyone hates Miss Winters and I don't know why. She can be a bit cold, but she's really a nice person when you show an interest in her subject. I love writing, especially poetry. That's not why I joined the club. I joined the club because my dad hassles me about doing nothing all day, so now I'm going to do something. I'm going to go talk to Elliot because I can just tell he wants to rant about his newest crush. See ya.

Right, so I'm at poetry club. Actually, I'm not. I'm in the bathroom, hiding and writing because Ellie is here and I want to avoid her for as long as possible.

Update, Ellie was sent to see if I'm okay. My plan backfired. A lot.

I'm back in the circle of people. It looks a bit like a cult, honestly. I ignored Ellie.

*Ellie*

She's not talking to me. That probably means she knows, because usually she can't keep her mouth shut. My feelings are so confusing! I don't know how I feel! I feel like I should like her more than I do, I feel like I should love her (romantically), and I don't know if I do. I don't want to kiss her. I feel like I'm looking at her objectively. I feel like I'm making myself feel things just because I'm supposed to feel things. I get butterflies but honestly that just might be my nerves from the weight of that thread. I think she's great. But I don't think I love her. I don't know if I want to be with her. In all the years of threads being in existence, I've never heard of a case like this.
I ended up going to poetry club because honestly, I need to figure out my feelings with Ivory, and I can't do that without being around her. She's beautiful, I can admit that. I think that's just natural though. It's not like a real crush, where you like someone so much that their features become the most beautiful in the world to you.

Someone called Hazel read a poem. I didn't really notice her at first, she's shy and she tries to make herself small. Helps that she's about 5 feet tall. It's a whole different story when she speaks. She has a rich, soothing voice. She fills up the whole room with her voice and there's no way you can't listen. She had everyone in a trance. I'd say she would be a good hypnotist. She was wearing Vans with Michael Jackson on them. They say "Hee!" on each heel. I wonder what the story behind that is. With someone being called Hazel I usually assume their hair would be brown, like a hazelnut. Her hair is dyed pastel pink, but you can see that it was blond before. She has big, doe eyes and she looks like a startled deer most of the time. Her eyelashes are so long. The more I think about it, the more like a deer she is.

If you haven't noticed, I like to describe people. I like noticing things. It makes me feel like a spy. That sounds stupid written down. It sounds stupid in general. I was really into spy books when I was younger.

I was so transfixed with Hazel's poetry that I hardly noticed Ivory after a while. Not a good sign. There was six people in the group, plus Miss Winters. Miss Winters was so chill for once (haha, chill?). Weird, I usually hate her. The other people were Ivory, Hazel, a tall, sporty, overachieving girl who only came because she wanted more achievements to her name (she was crap at poetry, though) called Rowan, a quiet boy called Jack (though his friend called him Jacko) with mismatched socks, and the friend of Jack, called Ezra, who was very loud and obnoxious, but surprisingly shy about reading his work.
Ivory made an excuse and left early, which honestly was a big relief to me. I am dreading talking to her about this little thread problem.