Revelations of Love - Moment by Moment Book #3 (Harry Potter, Drarry)

Bargaining

Harry let Draco's strange advice on anarchy sink in as he watched his partner rediscover that he hadn't eaten at all that day. He wasn't really sure if he should take Draco's sometimes glib suggestions seriously. After so long second guessing everything he did, just letting go was not easy for Harry Potter, Hero, Auror, Figurehead. He'd spent most of the Summer after Sirius' death analysing what he considered he had done wrong, how he could have prevented the tragedy, and his conclusion had been that he should not make another mistake. Albus Dumbledore, his great mentor, had admitted to making mistakes, but Harry had been determined to show all that it was possible to be prepared for everything. Thus, the boy who had returned to school in September had been a quiet, calculating, rational youth, and he had reigned in any impulses that might have led him or his friends into disaster. People had been surprised by the changes, Hermione had spent most of the sixth year trying to get him to open up about them, but Harry Potter had remained resolutely separate; no-one was ever going to have to pay for his mistakes again. The idea of letting that reasoning go felt very strange, but in some ways, right. He'd been tense and anally retentive for enough years.

Harry was still watching his lover, using his movements as something to entertain his eyes as his brain worked over the suggestion. Draco noticed the gaze. The blond man offered out the second piece of sandwich as a small amount of self-consciousness appeared in his face, but Harry shook his head with a smile, content to just watch. He didn't want to make his companion too ill at ease about eating alone, so Harry dropped his musings and started the conversation again with, "Maybe I have been a bit of a control freak."

Continuing to munch, Draco gave the young man a roll of his eyes which told him just how much he agreed with that statement.

"But," he decided, "if I'm going to let out my temper, I think I'd better find a safe environment."

"Hur," his companion offered, pointing at the floor and then hastily trying not to lose the contents out of the side of the sandwich.

"Thanks, but those wards have enough to cope with," Harry laughed; Draco made a face, but not a serious one, "and anyway, I was thinking something much more physical than just casting spells."

"Who said I wasn't?" Draco managed to clear his mouth to make the round-eyed suggestion.

The confider shook his head and grinned as he replied, "There are some impulses I wouldn't even take out on you, Draco."

"Spoilsport," came the succinct opinion before Draco started chomping again.

"I wonder if this place has a room of requirement?" he murmured, more to himself than Draco, but the question had a dramatic effect on his lover.

Draco lost his appetite in a second, dropping what was left of the sandwich-half back onto the plate beside its pair. He almost choked on the mouthful he hurriedly swallowed, and memory was heavy in his face as he told his friend, "They blockaded the one at Hogwarts. I used to duck into it to get away sometimes, just have somewhere really to myself without Crabbe loitering outside. I'd only risk an hour or so at a time, but still Lucius used to go mad, especially when I wouldn't tell him where I'd been. It didn't take them long to catch me though."

He looked at his now empty wrists.

"The room used to create a study for me, just a fireplace and some books, nothing fancy. They smashed everything, threw the books into the fire, and then they locked it down with spells. I didn't realise until now, but the room must have cut me off from Voldemort, blocked the runes' tracing power, that's why they were so angry about it."

Harry didn't offer any sympathy; the pair had discovered through their initial, halting conversations, that it was sufficient to just listen and let the memory go. Draco grabbed the bread again, one half of the sandwich in each hand and performed one of his protective switches as he held out the complete piece to his partner and urged, "You really should try this, it's good."