When the Stars Align

Chapter Seven

"You kissed her, eh?" Sirius asked James, with a sly grin. He and Lily had been going out for weeks, but had only just shared their first kiss. James was beaming, his happiness seemingly spreading to the rest of his friends.

"Yeah, out near the lake," James was blushing madly, but his self-pride was still able to overpower anything that his face was doing. He went on to explain everything about the moment in detail.

Sirius found himself daydreaming about a similar situation with Remus as Lily and himself as James. Or maybe the other way around. He did quite like the idea of not being the dominant one in a kiss... in more maybe...

"Hey, the mail's here," Peter said, bringing Sirius out of his unrealistic thoughts. He found that a letter had arrived for him, a very rare occasion. It was a black envelope, the color of coal. His name was inscribed in silver ink, in his mother's handwriting. He turned the letter over, seeing the red wax Black family crest. He frowned. His parents never included the seal unless they were communicating to someone not included in the Black family.

He opened the parchment cautiously, fearing that his parents had developed some anti-gay charm. On second thought, it would have been easier to have the gay zapped right out of him. He wouldn't need to hide anymore.

But the letter contained no such spell. Instead, it read, in a very formal tone:

Sirius,

We will not tolerate an abomination under the Black family name. Homosexuality is not something that I, nor my husband, will tolerate. We will pay only for your education until the end of this, your seventh year, at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, only because it would be a waste of money if we did not.

You are expected to either find a new home in which to reside, or live on the streets. That is not our problem. You must be aware that you are not welcome back at our home. It does not belong to you anymore.

If you should change your mind about being homosexual, it would please us to work out an arrangement. There is a cousin of yours that you may come to fancy. She is called Bellatrix.

Walburga Black

Sirius let the parchment fall to the table. His eyes had glazed over with tears as he read. He'd never loved his family; despised them actually, but they were his family. How was he supposed to provide for himself right out of school?

He was in panic mode. The room wasn't spinning per say, but the walls seemed as if they were closing in on him. He felt like he was sweating, but when he touched his skin, it felt dryer than ever before. When he looked at his friends' faces, he couldn't make out distinct features.

"Sirius?" James was waving a hand in front of his eyes, "Close your mouth, you'll catch fairies. What did the letter say?"

James started to take the letter from the table, but Sirius snatched it back, crumpling the parchment, "No!"

"Dude, chill out," James said defensively. Sirius looked at his friends, their faces contorted with confusion and concern, the latter of which was most abundant on Remus' face.

Sirius needed to get out of there. He felt as if he was going to throw up. He gathered his belongings and started leaving, uttering, "I have to go..."

He had almost reached the door to the Great Hall when a hand grabbed him by the crook of his elbow, spinning him back around.

Remus looked at him with intense worry and something else, sadness perhaps. "What's wrong, Sirius?"

Sirius just shook his head. He was fighting so hard to keep the tears in his eyes. Searching for the right words proved unsuccessful, so he simply shrugged away from Remus and stammered, repeating, "I..I have to go."

He ran from the Hall and through the corridors, pushing past people walking. He felt like he couldn't breathe. He needed fresh air.

When he got outside the castle, he paused for a moment and just breathed. He didn't know where to go. There was nowhere for him to go anymore, actually nowhere. Not even the home that he hated.

The tears started streaming down his face. He didn't care if anyone saw. He had the right to cry. He had the right to scream and punch a wall. But he did only the first. How could a mother come to despise her son simply because of the gender he loved? Sirius knew that his mother had never been especially proud of him, but she was always there to listen, even if all she said in return was, "You're not mature enough to understand, therefore you are wrong." That had always seemed to be her answer to everything.

Sirius couldn't deal with classes, with professors asking too much of him, with his friends asking what happened, with other students in general. He went to the only place he felt safe at the moment, to his and Remus' studying spot by the lake.

He spent the day, switching between reflecting on his life while watching the waves, and crying. Sometimes he did both at the same time.

The sun had started to set by the time he thought about going back. He couldn't eat, despite the hunger gnawing at him. He had just contemplated getting up when he heard footsteps coming towards him. It was just one pair of feet, and he knew who they belonged to. He recognized the sound of heavy footing that he only knew one person to have.

"Sirius, what's going on?" Remus asked, sitting next to him. His voice was soft and calming. He owed Remus the truth. He was only scared that telling him might elicit a reaction such as his mother's. But he also knew that Remus wasn't that kind of person.

Sirius sighed, "Do you promise that if I tell you something, you won't tell a soul? Not even Peter...Not even James?"

"I've been keeping things from James since Year One, I promise," Remus agreed.

Sirius handed Remus the letter that he had been reading over and over again that day, "My mother sent me this today."

He saw Remus' eyebrows knit together tighter as he skimmed down the page. When he was finished, he lowered the letter and sat silent. His face wasn't the one he usually wore when he was trying to gather his thoughts, this one was far more intense, like he was trying to make sense of everything.

When he finally opened his mouth, Sirius expected another life lesson from his friend. Instead all Remus said was, "What a horrible woman."

Sirius felt the tears rush to his eyes again. He hugged his knees close to his body and hung his head, crying silently. He didn't even care that Remus could see him at his most vulnerable. That's what he was at the moment. Vulnerable. He was allowed that every once and a while.

Sirius heard Remus moving and thought that he might be getting up to leave, but the next moment, he felt Remus warm arms embracing him in a warm hug. "I'm sorry, Sirius, I'm really sorry."

Sirius knew how brave Remus was being, having been kicked out of his home as well, but in that moment, he just appreciated the gesture.

No other words were exchanged between the friends. The only sounds were Sirius crying and the waves as they rolled onto the shore.