Wolf (UNDER SOME SERIOUS REVISION)

Chapter Thirty-Six: Panic

     Lorenzo's eyes suddenly flashed with recognition, he turned to Calla, "He's having a panic attack. I know why too."

     "Why?" Calla asked, but I was faster than that.

     I grasped Lorenzo's wrist and pulled him over me, locking him in a chokehold. My father was a part of him, of course he would know why I was having a fit over a folder. "Who are you? Haes? Why are you here?"

     Lorenzo sat still, not struggling, he put his hands up so I could see them. Calla threw her hand over her mouth to hold in a gasp. "Percyus-."

     "Calla, it's alright." Lorenzo said. "Percy, it's me. Not Haes. He takes over my body, but not right now. Right now he's sleeping. It's me, buddy. I know why you're scared, because I'm your best friend. I was there, I remember it happening."

     "So does Haes!" I growled in his ear, flexing my arm for a second to assert dominance. "Prove that it's you."

     He barely had to think, "We met on the roof when we were sixteen. I had gotten into an argument with my parents, and you had just received a beating. It was the first week of your alpha training. You confided in me after we talked about comic books for an hour. Just out of the blue. Once second we were talking about spider-man, the next you were telling me your life story. And I listened."

     "What did you tell me, before we went to bed?" I felt my lower lip twitch as I started to feel the relief of starting to believe him.

     "'I'm your friend now, and there's no way that fucker can ruin that too.'" Lorenzo recited.

     I immediately let him go, slouching down into the gazebo floor. He rolled off of me, grabbing the folder. I felt a spike of fear plummet in my chest, and before I could stop him, he opened up the folder.

     I closed my eyes and threw myself backwards, a yell flying from my lips. But the ringing never came, nor the heat and pain. I had curled myself in a ball, lying on my side with my arms thrown over my head. But no pain came, no agonizing, scorching fire melted my flesh away. I only then relaxed my arms. I felt small hands grasp my chin and I peeled my eyes open to see Calla hovering over me. My vision fell out of focus, switching to Haes just like it had with Lorenzo. I yanked my face away, "No, please! Stop! I'm sorry!"

     But then it shifted back and I saw Calla's face, hurt flooding her expression. I sat up stiffly, my breathing hitching on the sobs I choked back. "I'm sorry. I keep seeing Haes. I thought you were him for a second." I rubbed my eyes roughly, trying to get them to stop crying.

Lorenzo pries my hands away, "Percy, look at the folder." I glanced at it, afraid if I looked too long it would blow up. "See, it's not a bomb. It's just a regular old folder."

"I-I thought it was-" I stammered, feeling mortified at how I had reacted to a stupid fucking folder.

Lorenzo grasped my hand to make me look at him, "It's alright. It happens. But your better now. You know it's not a bomb. You can relax now."

"I'm sorry." I blurted, feeling more tears resurface. I was utterly embarrassed.

I just had a panic attack in front of my new mate, the guards, and a complete stranger. The only one who knew about my problems was Lorenzo. I thought I was getting better. I hadn't had an attack since Calla arrived. Now I was going to start spiraling again. I have never been more embarrassed. I was supposed to be strong for Calla. She was the broken one who needed saving. I was supposed to be solid and unwavering, to be there for her. I wasn't supposed to break down into tears and hyperventilate I'm front of her over one bad memory. Goddess, I was pathetic.

I blew a breath out from my mouth loudly before either of them could respond. I was second away from losing it again. I stood up and turned away, ready to go inside and cry. "Sorry about that. That was totally stupid."

I then ran from the gazebo like I had fire on my ass. I bolted through the pack house, keeping my head low. I went straight to my room, pushing past anyone in my way. I slammed my room door shut and collapsed on my bed before completely breaking down. I sobbed louder than I had in the longest time, shaking the bed with my tremulous cries. It was almost comical at how much I was crying.

I would've laughed at myself if I wasn't so miserable.

I wasn't alone for long, however, as the door opened quietly and Calla walked through. I wanted to be like a moody teenager and shout 'go away', but this was her room too. I felt the bed dip on her side, and I turned the other direction, trying to subtly wipe my tears. I wished she would just go to the connected room and leave me be, but instead she places her hand on my shoulder. I feel my tension melt away at her touch, something my panic attack didn't let me to earlier. I relaxed my muscles into the mattress, sighing deeply.

"Don't worry," her soft voice soothes. "We will figure everything out. I promise."

I sure as hell hoped so, because right now, I had no fucking idea what to do next.

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Thank you for reading!

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