Max Crumbly x Female Reader "Locker Hero"

27. A Few Fries Short of a Happy Meal?! Really?!

"Oh, is that all you need? Just the password! Sounds simple enough!" I said sarcastically.

"Well, Mr. Smarty-Pants, as the president of the (Favorite activity/hobby) club, I had to go to the office to get the password for our website. I actually watched the principal go into his office and get it from an index card that was taped to the bottom of his bowling trophy. I'm guessing all of his passwords are written there. Do you think you can get your hands on it?"

"Seriously? A bowling trophy?! Consider it done!" I answered.

"Now, my second condition," (Y/n) continued, "is really important. . . . DON'T YOU DARE HANG UP ON ME AGAIN!! Put the phone on vibrate. And if you don't answer by the third ring, I'm going to assume you're in big trouble and call the cops! DEAL?!"

"Come on! I just explained all of that!" I protested.

"It's your choice, Max! Take it or leave it!"

"My, aren't WE a little BOSSY?!" I shot back.

"YEP! Twenty-four/seven! My favorite song is 'Girls Rule!! Boys Drool!!' I'm sure you've heard that one before?"

"Yes, I have. But NOT nearly as much as that CRUDDY song (Insert boyband song) Sorry, (Y/n)! I'd rather listen to a toilet flush than your ringtone! But . . . yeah, it's a DEAL," I reluctantly agreed. Like I really had a choice in the matter.

"And, Max . . . one last thing . . . ," (Y/n) said hesitantly.

"But you just said there were only TWO conditions."

"Please STAY SAFE! Or I swear! I'll come down there and . . . KILL YOU myself!! Got that?! UH-OH! I think my parents are back from their movie. E-mail me that password ASAP! I'll call you back in ten minutes, okay?"

CLICK!!  (Y/n) hung up on me before I could even answer.

As I placed the phone on vibrate and stuck it in my back pocket, I suddenly realized I was now more TERRIFIED of girls than EVER. And ONE in particular.

(Y/n) was so SMART, she was SCARY!

Suddenly I had a brilliant idea. I quickly searched the room. Just as I had suspected, there was a VENT above the lockers in the back of the room.

WOO-HOO! I felt like doing my victory dance!

I had barely climbed back inside the ventilation system when Moose, Tucker, and Ralph burst into the girls' locker room like crazed MANIACS. . . .

"I SWEAR I heard something in here!" Tucker exclaimed. "Voices AND music! Moose thought it was coming from the boys' locker room, but it sounded to me like it was coming from over here."

Ralph glared at Tucker. "Why am I NOT surprised you're hearing things?! You must have FORGOTTEN to take your MEDS again!"

"I'm NOT crazy, Ralph! I know what I heard! It was my favorite tune. You know, the one by that boy band that goes like this: 'Listen, gurl, we have a connection! I luv u more than my Lego collection!' " Tucker sang, very off-key.

"STOP SINGING! YOU'RE MAKING MY EARS BLEED!" Ralph yelled.

Suddenly Moose looked super anxious. "Listen up, guys. Maybe there are GHOSTS in this school! I saw a TV documentary on ghosts, and some of them are . . . REAL! I'm thinking we should just leave. . . ."

Ralph got SO mad, his eyes were practically bulging out of his head.

"I HOPE they're REAL!! You know WHY? Because I'd FIRE you two IDIOTS and HIRE the GHOSTS!! Then I could finally get down to business, LOAD UP THE STINKIN' COMPUTERS, AND MOVE ON WITH MY DANG LIFE! TUCKER! MOOSE! THERE'S NOTHING IN THIS ROOM! NOTHING!! NO VOICES! NO MUSIC! NO GHOSTS! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?!"

"Yeah, boss," Tucker and Moose answered glumly.

Just then Ralph's cell phone rang. He looked at it and cringed.

"SHEESH! It's TINA again?! She's going NUTS! How am I supposed to get any work done with her calling me every five minutes, screaming at me about her mother?! Just forget the kid. He's probably harmless anyway. Let's load up the computers and get the heck out of here. Before TINA has a COW!!"

"Listen, boss, since we're not gonna be wasting any more time looking for that kid, can we at least EAT our PIZZA now? It's getting cold!" Moose whined.

"Yeah!" Tucker agreed. "The buffalo wings are getting cold too!"

"NOOO!!" Ralph bellowed. "What part of 'NO' do you FOOLS not understand?!"

"Moose glared at Ralph. "Well, Aunt Tina is going to be VERY upset when she finds out you wouldn't let her favorite nephews eat dinner!"

Tucker crossed his arms and smirked at Ralph. "Yeah! And Aunt Tina is already REALLY, REALLY mad at you!"

All the color drained right out of Ralph's face. He looked like he was about to have a stroke!

Honestly! If stupidity were a crime, these guys would be sentenced to LIFE in prison!! Tucker, Ralph, and Moose didn't know it yet, but if things went according to plan, TINA and COLD PIZZA were going to be the LEAST of their problems!

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1437 words