Strings Attached

~Chapter 16~

And I feel destructive.

One second I'm standing with my hands clutching my head as if it will explode. And in another, I've taken two strides towards the paper sitting on my bed and tore it in halves, fours... until it's shredded into countless pieces and is worth nothing more than trash.

"F**k!"

Something is making my hands form into fists. And I can't figure out what. I saved Molly, and that's some relief to me. But I can't wipe that self-assured stance of that woman from my mind. How dare she talk to my dad like that!? On what security is she acting so indifferent and brave? Are there some things dad's hiding from me?

But then I remember I don't even give him a chance to have a conversation with me. Neither does he ever share his worries with me? In fact, I've nothing like what people call a 'relationship' with him.

And so, I don't give a f**k either. I'm gonna get away from here as soon as I have enough money. The man can fend for himself. He brought this upon himself too. Although, somehow, I'm not as pleased as I should have been at his fall from grace. Maybe because I'm not the one doing the honors.

After I've tried unsuccessfully to solve the mystery of my father's dwindling authority, I realize I've a gig tonight and I'm still not fixed upon a song. So, I fish out my old iPod from the depths of the lowest desk drawer and half-heartedly begin searching for a song that would fit everything- my mood, the mood of the restaurant, clean lyrics and all.

After shuffling through my old playlist, I come upon a Green Day single and I realize how long it's been since I heard them! They used to be my favorites back in the day. And I remember this one song I used to try singing a lot when it came out.

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right,

I hope you had the time of your life.

I start to remember bits and pieces of the lyrics and I quickly search it up and put it on. And, at last, I know what I'll be singing tonight.

_____

To be very honest, I'm chuffed after a long, long time. I didn't know that I could feel disconnected with the song and yet sing it like a pro. People never minded my song choice, they were so taken with my voice.

I'm kinda feeling arrogant tonight, but I won't strip this attitude off for anyone. For a night, I can think I'm on top of the world. For a night, I can feel like I've got things to live for. For a night, I can think straight and not feel the need to let my anger loose. Without the booze, no less.

The first thing I do with the tip I got, is paying Seth back. I ain't keepin' no debts unpaid. Not on myself. After that, I get my cellphone back up and working. Honestly, it felt as if I was living under a rock all these days. But I don't waste my money on calling or messaging the group. Instead, I call Seth and after getting my motorbike full on the fuel, we go around the city.

I feel exhilarated. I feel normal. And I feel like I've been brought back to life. It feels that good.